That partner of yours?
They don’t owe you a thing.
You’ll be golden.
Unfortunately though you’ve been taught to believe the exact opposite. You think that your partner owes you everything.
Your emotional needs?
They’re your partner’s job!
If they weren’t?
Why would you be in a relationship with them?
The whole idea is that you have certain needs that you cannot fulfill without them. The reason you sought out love in your life was so somebody ELSE could meet them for you.
The problem is?
When you see your needs as your right?
You cease to appreciate your partner.
Expectation kills gratefulness.
Why be grateful for something they owe you?
In an article called How Expectations Are Shaping Your Relationship Amie Gordon describes this conundrum. She shares a Netherlands study where 126 couples were asked to respond about their partner’s sacrifices.
They asked these couples their view of four statements:
“Sacrificing is a necessary component of close relationships.”
“It is normal to engage in sacrifices in close relationships.”
“People need to sacrifice to preserve a healthy relationship.”
“I EXPECT my partner to sacrifice in our relationship.”
They looked at the correlation between the answers given to these and people’s gratitude and respect of their partners and overall satisfaction with their relationship.
While everybody expressed gratitude for sacrifice?
The ones who appreciated it most?
It was those who least expected it.
The others were “less moved” by the sacrifice.
I tell you here all the time that familiarity breeds contempt and that absence makes the heart grow fonder. In the same way expectations breed ingratitude because you can’t appreciate sacrifice when you think you’re owed it.
Want a happy relationship life?
You need to realize this.
Your partner’s love is 100% theirs to withhold.
It is 100% a gift to you.
You should be nothing other than grateful for it!
What do you think? Have you been taking your partner’s love for granted all this time and not appreciating what a special thing it is that they love you?