She said this a couple times during our relationship.
I’d ask her what she meant.
She would say, “I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.”
It’s crazy the things you do, isn’t it?
When you really love someone?
You get possessive and try to hold them close and never let them go. Because you’re afraid if you let them go, they will fly away for good.
The picture that arises here is that “bird in the guilded cage.”
Nobody wants to be anybody’s possession.
When somebody tries to tie you down?
What do you naturally do?
If you’re like most people you try to get away. You don’t want to be trapped and kept and controlled and held on tight.
It is one of the most counter intuitive things about love.
You only have what you let go of.
When you love you have to love with an open hand.
Whenever you try to grasp love?
It only escapes you.
Of course if you’re like a client I was speaking with the other day, there are good reasons you want to hold on tight. You’ve found something very precious when you’ve found someone to love.
Someone who loves you too.
She had searched a long time.
Desiring a special connection like we had.
Now she found it?
She wanted it to last.
She wanted it to NEVER end.
But life is about beginnings and endings and very few things last forever. Love is known to be one of those things that often doesn’t want to stay.
So what are you supposed to do?
Just leave all chance to the wind?
Just hope your lover desires to stay with you forever?
I told this girl, “You CAN do something.”
“Something that will have a real impact.”
“You just have to be brave enough.”
“Let me go and stop trying to make yourself my world and even stop making me your whole world either.”
In other words I encouraged her to get a life.
One that didn’t just revolve around me.
That’s what you should do too.
Find other things that are meaningful to you.
So you aren’t so CLINGY.
When your partner sees that you’re okay even when their gone or with somebody else, they will actually be drawn to you.
It always works this way.
Even though it makes no sense.
It will work this way for you too.
So how about you? Are you ready to let go of fear and start trusting you love will stay?
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