A long time ago I mentioned this.
The idea of living apart together.
It is a way a lot of people do monogamy now.
But it’s not limited to that configuration.
In a recent article called I Love You But I Don’t Want To Move In With You author Crystal Crowder conveys the same message. The things she says are right on point so I wanted to share it with you.
Crystal says she has 14 reasons.
Reasons you shouldn’t move in with a partner.
The first is you like your own routine.
Why should you have to change it?
It’s your place so why should you have to share it? You value alone time and this lets you have it. As I’ve said many many times you’re asking for trouble if you live together 24/7.
Then there are the logistics.
Never enough closet space!
Is it selfish to want to do your own thing?
If you move in together what if you break up eventually?
The more financially enmeshed you become?
The worse things turn out for you.
Crystal’s eigth reason is if you move in together you’ll likely never get married. As a long time reader here now though you should know that marriage itself is not recommended.
You don’t need to choose between places.
You sleep over at each other’s places regularly.
Since things are great the way they are?
You won’t love each other more cohabiting.
The evidence says the opposite.
The bottom line for Crystal is she’s not gonna store her stuff so if you don’t want to roll with her? You can move on and she’ll be good with it because living apart works for her.
Can’t say I disagree with her much.
You can enjoy love without losing your independence.
You just have to do things differently.
As Crystal says?
Ignore your friends and parents.
The only caveat I would add to her already stellar list of reasons to pass on living together? It is to recognize that you can enjoy this same sort of relationship with more than just one partner.
Once you remove the traditional nesting theme?
It is really just about your connections.
Just like you have more than one friend?
You can have more than one romantic friend as well.
So how about you? Do you think you could see yourself passing on the whole live together thing and just focusing on enjoying what you find with each other?