So a female relationship coach I follow?
The other day she asked a question.
What did she want to know?
What guys think girls misunderstand most about them.
She said she was totally surprised by how many guys gave her the very same answer. It seems that “being with me in my emotions” was a “top concern” to them.
True to form as a female?
She just didn’t realize this.
That just like you girls often do?
Guys can feel “unmet” emotionally too! (Shock!)
The truth she was discovering is how many of you girls are dismissive toward guys’ negative feelings. If a guy feels “sad, depressed, frustrated, lonely, sick, etc.” you have no “space” for his “tenderness.”
A central reason she thought this was?
You’ve been taught a guy should be your ROCK.
Guys are taught to “be a man.”
To “toughen up” when these things happen to them.
The net effect of all this conditioning is if a guy shows you his emotions of weakness? You experience this as “nerve-wracking” because he isn’t feeling steady for you.
So what was her solution?
Sure enough another “man up” moment.
If a guy wants to show you he “feels off?”
He still has to be strong enough to “pre-frame” it for you.
Although as guys we are supposed to just accept you will lay it on us anytime you’re feeling awful? She thinks guys should pad things for you so you know how to respond.
“I’m frustrated and need to vent.”
“Can I do that and you just listen?”
“I’m feeling kind of low today.”
“I’d really just love a hug.”
So once again it is up to the guy to coddle you in your feelings. He can’t just be emotionally available because that’s not really what you want.
As I said in Part 1 what do you actually want?
For him to always be focused on YOUR feelings.
When do you want to know how HE feels?
When he’s feeling really good about YOU!
What say you girls? Do you really want an emotionally available guy who shares himself with you completely or do you only want a super hero who will come down from the skies and show you how much he’s in love with you?