The more I read about relationships?
The more I listen to all your coaches?
The more I become completely convinced.
You don’t really have relationship problems!
The reason you think you do of course, is because every time you turn around you’re struggling. Your partner did this. They didn’t do that. You can’t count on them at all.
And as I listen to you complain like this?
Of course I’m empathetic.
How could I not feel for you?
To fail to do so, I’d have to be calloused, and have no heart.
Even so, as I hear you out? I’m always left with this fundamental confusion. If you dislike all these problems so much, then why do you continue to choose them all the time?
“Wait a minute there Kel!” you say.
“I never ASKED for these problems.”
“If I didn’t want to experience them?”
“I’d have to leave my relationship!”
But the funny thing is in my relationship life, I just don’t experience most of the things you’re talking about. My love life isn’t hard, like you say yours is all the time.
“Okay Kel what’s the difference then?” you ask.
“What makes YOUR relationship life so much better?”
You know I’m really glad you asked!
Let me show you now.
By not being monogamous, my partners and I never take each other for granted. We have no expectations about what each other should do, so we can never get disappointed or let down either.
Because we live our own independent lives?
We’re not trying to build a life together.
So our love isn’t constantly eaten away.
“By what?” you ask.
By all those little nagging things you tell me are always adding up!
We also don’t worry about cheating, because we don’t require faithfulness of one another. We’ve learned that loving someone else as well, doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.
What you’re really facing here?
It is NOT relationship problems.
If you opted for Romantic Friendships like I have?
Most of your “relationship problems” would go away right now.
What do you think? Is it really true that what you are struggling with is relationship problems, or are these things just natural consequences, of continuing to approach your love life the way you do?
Like what you’re reading? Sign up!