“There was a sexual relationship.”

“We have kids don’t we?”

She said this in response to a question.

My then partner had asked her,

“Why do you and your husband sleep in separate rooms?”

They were a bit older couple, who had been married for decades. It had been many years now since their sleeping arrangements were this way.

While it might surprise you?

I don’t see their arrangements as a problem.

It can be nice to drift off together of course.

But once you’re asleep you’re asleep aren’t you?

The point of sleeping is to get your rest, not to build your connection. You have plenty of time in your waking hours to focus on your love for each other.

Why wouldn’t you sleep together?

There can be lots of good reasons.

He might snore.

She might hog the bed.

You want the room cool.

She wants it warm.

When you don’t sleep together, making love can even become more sacred. You could also dedicate a special room in your home to become your love shrine if you want.

The problem for this first couple though?

It was her actual response to the question.

From what she said?

It was very clear.

She no longer desired to make love to him.

When a girl feels truly loved, she seeks out sexual union. While she may still “love” you, if she doesn’t DESIRE you, that is never a good sign for the two of you.

The answer if this happens?

Don’t try to get her to have sex with you.

Offer to give her a back rub.

Focus on HER pleasure.

Not your own.

For girls it is an unwritten law that making love always flows from feeling loved. She will feel loved when you truly focus your loving attention on her.

I dare you to prove me wrong.

Get your eyes off yourself and see what happens.

Focus your love on her.

On her pleasure.

Watch her change!

Am I right girls? Do you need to sleep together to be in love with him, or does your desire to make love flow from really feeling loved by him?