You’re in love.
You can’t believe this feeling.
You can’t imagine ever feeling any other way.
This is the real thing.
And that is the grand illusion that makes you believe that this love is “the one.” You just know that the two of you will love each other forever and your love will never die.
But it will.
At least if you’re like 80-83% of the population.
And the reason is very simple.
What you’re feeling right now?
It isn’t rooted in reality.
It is rooted in fantasy.
How do I know?
Because it’s based not on facts but on your FEELINGS.
Because the facts don’t lie you can know that you will not feel this way forever. In fact you can know almost without fail that in 6 months to 3 years you will feel very different indeed.
Instead of feeling “in love?”
You will be wondering what happened.
You will look across the bed at your partner.
You will wonder who this stranger beside you is.
The fact is the way you’ve been looking at love is completely unrealistic. You aren’t taking your natural biology and psychology into account at all.
You don’t distrust yourself enough.
Your DNA is wired to fail at love.
At least the way you are conceiving it.
Nature doesn’t want your guy to be just with you.
It wants him to spread his seed.
It doesn’t want you to stay with him either.
It just wants you to pop out a couple babies and then move on.
If you haven’t noticed yet absolutely nothing nature wants has anything to do with real LOVE. It is all about reproduction and keeping the race happily sailing along.
So if all this is true what should you do?
How do you guard against yourself?
How do you prevent your NATURAL tendencies from destroying love?
The answer is simple.
But you’re not going to like it.
You need to get yourself some accountability partners.
No not your girlfiends or buddies.
They will just reinforce the fantasy you’ve been fooling yourself with.
What you need is to configure your love life so it inherently prevents you from taking your partner for granted. You need to structure your relationship so you continue to appreciate what you got.
How do you do that?
By enjoying Romantic Friendships.
When your partner can be with anyone?
You won’t take for granted he or she is with you.
You will continue to appreciate them.
You will be grateful for the love they share with you.
I know this sounds crazy right? Such a contradiction to your fantasy program. But you know from the facts that way doesn’t work so it’s time to try something new.
Your partner’s other partners?
They are your accountability partners.
They will help you keep yourself in line.
Yes, sometimes a little jealosy is a HELPFUL thing if you use it to your benefit.
And over time?
You will actually learn compersion.
You’ll learn to take joy in your partner’s joy.
Even when they experience love with someone other than you.
What do you say? Is it time to add a few accountability partners to the equation and open up to this new way of approaching romantic love in your life?
Like what you’re reading? Sign up!