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Working On Your Relationship Is Why It’s Not Working

A common trend I see today?

It’s to be constantly “working on” your relationship.

Instead of just enjoying each other?

The status of your love life is always such a “big deal.”

This trend has gotten so bad now that people are making this the criteria of a good relationship. Whether you “argue well,” or can “hold space,” or “co-regulate,” is the indicator of whether your relationship is healthy.

One romantic friend and I?

We’ve been tracking this phenomenon.

Do she and I find the need for all this work?

Not particularly.

As I’ve told you before with Romantic Friendships there is nothing hard about them. They are a wonderful example of how simple love can be.

Am I claiming perfection?


We’re still human.

But the number of challenges we’ve had in a year?

We can count them on one or two pinkies.

The reason this is so is we always approach our love without any expectations. We receive with gratitude whatever we both wish to share, and love each other with an open hand.

What my partner said of this “work on it” approach?

“It sounds pretty depressing.”

But once you make things about personal growth?

You get what you get don’t you?

As usual, all I’m doing here is trying to spare you all your struggles. I want you to learn that you can be safe to love and open up your heart to anyone.

But in order to do so?

You have to learn to take it easy.

Quit worrying about your love life.

Analyzing every little thing.

The only thing that really matters is that you’re happy with the OVERALL situation. What doesn’t matter is every little picky detail that is happening.

Instead of making your relationship your whole life?

See it as a lovely oasis.

Instead of worrying about it all the time?

Make it the place you run away to!

How about you? Is it really the sign of a good relationship that you’re always having to work on it, or is the sign of a good relationship that there isn’t really much you need to do about it?

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