This phrase right here girls?
It is the death knell of your relationship.
Because in a nutshell?
It demonstrates that you don’t really desire his love.
Wanting to hug him without it having to lead to anything else clearly indicates it’s love you’re after. But it also indicates just as clearly that it is not ROMANTIC love you want.
It’s so unfair to your partner.
It’s not what you sold him at the beginning.
When the two of you got together?
You couldn’t get enough.
You wanted to make love with him all the time didn’t you?
You led him to believe it was him you desired and you would be there to share this gift of emotional and sexual union. How could he have known that in truth that was only a DECEPTION to reel him in?
I’m not saying you deceived him.
It was nature that actually did it.
You thought you would love him that way forever.
Because at the time that’s how you felt.
This is one of your deepest challenges.
As a girl you perpetually follow your feelings and they are the thing that leads you. You’ll make love if your feelings are filled with desire for him. Otherwise you just want to HUG.
I’m the first one to tell him.
He needs to do more than grope you.
Your deepest desire is for emotional connection.
He needs to share his heart with you as well.
But not at the expense of HIS deepest desire.
Which is always to sexually connect with you.
In the same way that emotional connection is the real way YOU feel loved? Sexual fulfillment is the way he truly feels he is CHERISHED and accepted.
You worry to yourself when he reaches out,
“All he wants is to have sex with me.”
“He doesn’t actually love me.”
“He’s just using me for THAT.”
But what if I told you that when you reach out for a HUG, he is thinking the same thing also? “She doesn’t want to have sex with me. She’s just using me for a hug.”
This is the perpetual battle line.
It’s called the Battle Of The Sexes.
You desire emotional connection.
He desires sexual fulfillment.
And never the twain shall meet.
You both need to come to realize it must never be JUST one or the other. He must always meet YOUR desire for emotional connection and you must always meet HIS desire for sexual fulfillment too.
This is what romantic love IS.
The merging of these two elements.
Until you value each other enough that you want both?
You have not yet truly fallen in love.
You don’t have to always feel like making love any more than he has to always feel like emotionally connecting with you.
You just need to do it.
Both of you.
When you do?
The magic will happen.
Your desire for each other will come alive!
Because you will both feel truly valued.
So what do you think? Can you learn to give your love to each other in the way each of you is wired to receive it and realize the reason to do it isn’t always because you feel like it but always because this is the person you love?