You’re sitting with the girl you LOVE.
You’re talking about what the two of you DESIRE.
How GOOD your life together will be.
Suddenly she asks you a QUESTION.
You are slightly taken ABACK.
She looks you in the eyes and with all the EMOTION she can muster she says, “One of the biggest dreams of my life is to have CHILDREN of my own. How about you?”
You never really THOUGHT about it before.
You’ve never spent much TIME with kids either.
So you don’t really KNOW.
You have nothing AGAINST children per se.
You could take ’em or LEAVE ’em.
You look her in the eyes with all the emotion you can MUSTER (which admittedly is no where near what you witness from her just now) and say, “I would be ALRIGHT having children with you too.”
That is COMPLETELY the wrong answer!
I’m writing this blog post because of this one here.
But my reasons for saying this are not quite the SAME.
This writer is completely CORRECT though.
Your happiness WILL be reduced if you have children.
Even you girls with your DREAMS of motherhood!
Nature is FOOLING you too.
As this writer ALSO says?
You really do have to CHOOSE between provider or lover.
He’s even correct kids will COST you a lot and will result in child support payments since you WILL almost inevitably break up…often before they’re grown.
But the REAL reason you should never have kids?
It’s NONE of that at all.
It’s something much more OBVIOUS.
Can’t you TELL?
Didn’t you HEAR it?
It’s the THOUGHT PROCESS you just went through when she asked you.
If you have to ask yourself whether or not you REALLY want kids or think you could just as soon PASS on having them? You HAVE your answer! You should NEVER have kids.
What those thoughts MEAN?
Kids just aren’t your PASSION.
You aren’t dedicated to raising them WELL.
If your heart is just not INTO having children?
You should definitely PASS without hesitating.
Let that poor partner of yours find someone ELSE.
Someone whose heart is WITH her.
If you choose to have children, you are choosing to PRIORITIZE your offspring over real romantic love. Romantic love has absolutely NOTHING to do with raising kids.
I know. I know.
Children are the “true expression” of your LOVE.
That’s why you’ll be okay with the SEXLESS marriage.
Where your connection EVAPORATES over time.
It will be alright because you’ll both be EXHAUSTED!
Once your love produces its “expression?”
There’s really no NEED to keep it going.
There is very little possiblity you actually CAN.
There’s so much work to do INSTEAD now!
Besides children being the DEMISE of your love, another important reason you should never have kids is because it just isn’t FAIR to them.
Children deserve TWO parents.
Parents who love them DEEPLY.
A couple who are commited to being their very best FRIENDS.
If you have to ASK yourself, “Do I really want kids?”
You’re just not CUT OUT for the job.
Love your children ENOUGH to not conceive them in the first place!
I know what I’m saying here must seem very TERRIBLE to all you maternal girls who see this as the PRIMARY purpose of your existence. If you’re a true “family man” type you might be HATING on me right now too.
I’m not MOCKING your desire.
If it’s what you really WANT.
I’m just saying that you have to weigh the COST.
If you choose to have CHILDREN?
You are choosing them ABOVE your love life.
You need to have what it takes to ACCEPT that.
You need to be a TRUE “kid person.”
TRYING to be one just won’t cut it.
What about you? Are you a guy (or girl) who shouldn’t have kids and are you relieved to hear me finally SAY it?