I’ve created this intermittent blog series to share with you girls why you should be open to having a polyamorous boyfriend.
Because you often ask me this.
The first reason I shared was if you’re a high energy girl who likes an active social life.
Being like that makes it hard to be with someone monogamous.
They’re going to feel neglected.
The second reason I want to share today is actually quite the opposite. It occurred to me when I was interacting with an OK Cupid girl recently and we got talking about common interests.
I noticed in her profile she has a major in counseling psychology, so I opened the conversation this way:
“So if you’re a counseling psych you probably know your Myers-Briggs. I’m an INTJ. Are we a match made in heaven?”
If you’re not familiar with Myers-Briggs, it is a personality typing system used to understand how we process the world and our experience.
The four letter system breaks out like this:
I/E – Introverted or Extraverted
N/S – Intuitive or Sensing
T/F – Thinking or Feeling
J/P – Judging or Perceiving
There are 16 possible combinations and therefore personality types in this system.
I won’t get into the full meaning of all this, but as you can probably discern I am an introvert with strong intuition, who more naturally tends toward rational thought over feeling.
The J means I prefer to live life in a more structured way, as opposed to winging it and seeing where things go.
If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, I’m sure you will agree how accurately this describes my approach to relationships. I’m here to help you understand how romantic love “works,” so you can better configure your love life!
This girl replied saying she is actually a personality type enthusiast, and that mine is the second rarest type.
This surprised me because I thought the INTJ was the rarest at about 2% of the population.
Instead it is this girl’s type, the INFJ that comes in at just 1.5%.
Wow! I just hit the jackpot!
Every girl wants to think she’s special.
This one actually is!
She and I messaged back and forth for most of the evening topping out at about 37 messages. In online dating this is usually a good sign, because it means you’re really connecting.
Usually I only message back and forth a couple times before pitching for a meetup.
But in this case we were having a substantial conversation and were both enjoying ourselves.
Because I’m all about romantic love, I also asked her if she’d ever taken the 5 Love Languages test.
When I work with introverted guys and girls, I like to have them take this test so I have an idea of their love compatibilities.
She hadn’t taken it before but said she loves these kinds of test and quickly did so and shared her results with me.
It was very revealing.
Her scores came in as follows:
10 Acts of service
8 Physical touch
6 Words of affirmation
4 Quality time
2 Receiving gifts
When I saw her results I wrote her back with mine saying the following:
10 Physical Touch
9 Quality Time
6 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts
1 Acts of Service
We may have a problem here…
Her reply was, “Hahahaha! Seems so”
She then began to emphasize she is a person who needs a lot of alone time, away from other people. Because of this, quality time isn’t very high on her list.
Of course I was glad to see physical touch was high for her.
I told her before I found my heart, Acts Of Service was the top of my list too.
As you can see, I’ve changed just a bit!
So what does all this have to do with why you should have a polyamorous boyfriend?
Well, if you’re like this girl, you’re a prime candidate.
You’re strongly introverted and prefer being on your own.
Yet you also desire love when you desire it.
But if you have a partner like me who desires a high quotient of quality time and touch, you’re going to feel suffocated.
And he’s going to feel neglected.
So in many ways, while you are the exact opposite of the “bounce off the walls” girls I talked about last time, you are presenting the same challenge to being in a relationship.
It is going to be very tough finding a guy willing to be monogamous with you, yet be happy only seeing you on those infrequent occasions you’re ready to connect.
But a polyamorous guy is not dependent on you being there all the time.
Because he has other girls in his life, he can schedule time with you when you’re ready to come up for air.
Despite the fact this girl attracts INTJs like “bees to honey” as she put it, her biggest problem is they usually don’t score high on the emotional intelligence scale.
They don’t get feelings and can be very insensitive.
Love making is just mechanical.
I told her I’m not a big believer in the “opposites attract” theory, and that our I, N, and J were good signs to me.
I also said “As far as the emotional stuff goes, I’ll let you speculate what it might mean that I went from having a 10 for Acts Of Service to a 1, with all those touchy feely love languages ascending to front of the class!”
“I’m definitely not a typical INTJ!”
So if you find yourself on the highly introverted side of the world, you really should consider having a polyamorous boyfriend.
He’ll be there when you’re ready to connect.
And he’ll be content when you’re not, since he’s free to find the love he desires with other girls too.
I would be remiss if I didn’t add something else here as well.
If you are this type of introverted girl, I’m always open to exploring a connection.
Since I’m a polyamorous guy, I’m open to experiencing romantic love with anyone!
So what do you think? Should your next online profile say you’re open to polyamory?
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