Okay so this one is a bit different but it’s been brewing for a long long time.
Because I have lots of conversations with you girls on this subject and you keep asking me this question in one way or another.
Why should you date or have a relationship with a guy who is polyamorous?
Remember I’ve defined polyamory very specifically.
I’m not talking about guys who just want to have sex with lots of girls without any relationship.
That’s promiscuity and eventually I’ll get around to talking about that “relationship” option.
I’m talking about a guy who is genuinely emotionally connective, for whom giving himself to you sexually is just the natural fruit of that deeper bond he has with you. But he’s polyamorous and has relationships like this with other girls too.
Why should you be open to being with a guy like this?
There are a lot of reasons as a girl you should consider this type of relationship.
What I’m going to do is publish a series of blog posts, each one sharing a different reason.
This won’t be a continuous series. I’ll just pick it up off and on as the inspiration takes me
Hopefully this series will give you some insights how you as a girl can experience positive benefits in your love life by being with a polyamorous guy.
So here goes…
One reason you should be open to being with a polyamorous guy is, you are very socially active.
When I watch some of you girls it makes me dizzy.
You’re out to salsa dancing every evening or partying with friends.
You do yoga and palattes and every other configuation of health and wellness.
You’re swimming or cayaking or snowboarding or sky diving.
On the weekends you hit the clubs.
I like to call you the “bounce off the walls” girls.
I’ve met a few of you through online dating.
Your profile describes your endlessly shifting world.
I admire your energy. I really do.
But if you’re spending all your time doing everything else, you’re not spending time alone, exploring your connection with your partner. Usually this makes having a relationship a virtual impossibility.
Because most guys want more than that.
When I meet one of you girls online, I always tell you I’m more the guy you get with when you’re ready for some downtime.
And that’s really what love should look like for you active girls.
It’s something you share when it’s time to chill.
But in your life, that’s not very often. Chilling is your exception, not your rule.
If you have a monogamous relationship with a guy, he’s going to feel you’re never available to connect.
Because you aren’t.
But a polyamorous guy is perfect for you.
You can get together during those occasional downtimes of yours and he’s really there to love you when you do.
Because he isn’t sitting around wishing you cared more, or feeling unloved or neglected.
Since he has other girls in his life, he is experiencing all the connection he desires without putting you under the gun or trying to change you into someone you’re not.
It really is the best of both worlds.
You can have your wild and crazy life and he can have his quiet connective life.
I had a brief time this past year where a girl and I really connected and it was so clear, what she needed was a guy who could let her bounce off those walls and not condemn her for it.
She had been in a past relationship where she felt judged for being who she is.
I said to her, “We could just meet up once a week and enjoy some intimate time together, and you could otherwise do your thing.”
But she couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
Because to her romantic love means monogamy. Not being “one of many.”
Yet she admitted the way she likes to roll, it isn’t very practical for having a relationship. But “I go all in or nothing” was her reasoning. So she picked nothing.
Let me tell you girls, picking nothing is not a wise choice.
Because you need romantic love in your life.
We all do.
But some of you are not ready yet to make it your purpose and focus.
Does that mean you can’t have love at all? It sure does if you want to be monogamous, or with someone who is monogamous too.
Because that guy is going to feel neglected and abandoned by the way you enjoy living.
Listen, I’m not saying you necessarily have to be polyamorous yourself.
With your busy schedule that probably doesn’t make sense.
But it does make sense to experience love with someone who is.
Because that guy can be there for you and really love you for who you are.
He doesn’t have any need to make you anything else.
So what do you think my “wall bouncing” girls? Is there a polyamorous guy in your future?