Sorry guys, I’m not here to give you dating advice with this one.

It has to do with my activities on social media, and how some people perceive this.

When I wrote my blog post What’s In A Word? I wrote it primarily so I could point people to it when they question my use of terminology.

Because sometimes they do.

I’m creating this blog post to do the same thing for when my online social media posting and commenting patterns are questioned.

Because sometimes they are.

I’ve received some very interesting responses so far, to my activities on Facebook.

I’ve had owners of Facebook groups tell me not to publish links to my blog posts, even when the content of those posts was completely relevant and worthwhile in the context of that group’s discussions.

Individual Facebook friends have unfriended me, because they decided some comment I made wasn’t in line with the “purpose” they had for their personal post.

Others have suggested I was “hijacking” their Facebook posts to try to promote my blog, when the blog posts I linked to in a comment were a completely relevant and worthwhile contribution to what they were sharing.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter to me what you or anyone else does in response to my contributions.

If you want to, go ahead and remove me from your Facebook group.

Go ahead and delete me as your friend.

Remove a comment I’ve made on one of your posts, or tell me you think it’s inappropriate.

It’s all good to me.

That’s why Facebook puts you in control of your own groups and posts.

As you’ll see below though, I think all this attempt to edit other people’s thoughts and actions on your part, is a real mistake. But you’re welcome to make it if you want to.

And honestly if you make it clear you don’t like what I’m posting, I’ll always try to respect that.

But if you seek to stop me from doing what I’m doing, I’ll probably just move on.

Because I’m on Facebook to share with people and if you don’t want me doing that, we’re obviously not a good fit.

I personally think you’re the one who’ll lose out if I move on, because I’m really trying to make a difference.

If I’ve commented on your post, it means I think you’re trying to make a difference too, and I think what you’ve said is worth going deeper on.

Whatever you decide though is good with me.

But I do want to clarify my intentions here, so at least you can understand where I’m coming from.

This will also give me something to point to in the future, when someone else is wondering what I’m up to.

Because I know someone else will.

HERE IS WHY I DO WHAT I DO:

I feel what I have to contribute on the subject of romantic love is VERY valuable.

I present a UNIQUE perspective that to my knowledge, no one else in the dating and relationship space is presenting.

If you take my suggestions seriously on how to configure your love life, I believe you WILL have a much happier relationship life than most other people do.

Because I believe this…I share.

Wherever I can.

Whenever I can.

I frequently make comments I feel will contribute, even when I have not written anything that relates directly to the discussion.

But when I’ve written something I know is relevant, I share a link to that blog post as well.

Because I know when I’ve taken the time to write a blog post about something, it is a very thorough treatment of the subject.

This is why I have so many “skimmers” of my blog.

My posts are long because I’m trying to give you real meat and content, not just a Reader’s Digest version.

That’s what people who are just trying to sell you something do.

Of course I’m in business too, so at some point I’m wanting to sell as well.

But I want to provide you with something you can really sink your teeth into and benefit from, whether or not you ever choose to work with me.

I only share what I’ve written, when I feel it makes a genuine contribution in the context where I’m sharing it.

But some people still see this as “self promotion.”

For no other reason than the fact I’m the one who wrote the blog post I’m sharing.

If I linked to the same content written by someone else, everything would be just fine.

And of course I do that too, when I’ve read something by someone else I think will help.

But this complaint really has nothing to do with the content.

Only with the fact that I am the one sharing it.

Sharing something I’ve written myself, has to mean I’m “self promoting” right?

As you know I’m happy to let you define terms however you want. But I’m pretty sure last time I checked, self promotion means promoting yourself.

It doesn’t mean promoting relevant, worthwhile content.

Being the author of that content doesn’t change its relevance or worth.

Nor does the act of sharing it become an act of “self promotion,” simply because I’m the author of what I’m sharing.

When I share my blog posts it is not an act of self promotion. It is an act of relevant, worthwhile content promotion.

The beauty of the Internet is, people only follow you if you provide real value.

Otherwise they ignore you.

Which they should, if all you’re doing is promoting yourself and trying to sell to them, without providing anything of value.

That’s what those short blog posts that my “skimmers” wish I would write usually do.

And I do see those often as “self promoting.”

I never self promote.

I see no point in it.

All I do is share the relevant, worthwhile content I have created.

People have expressed gratitude for my doing so countless times.

They subsequently send me friend requests, so they can continue to benefit from what I’m sharing.

They share out the very posts I shared through a comment, so their friends can benefit too.

They only do this because they receive real value from the content I share.

They would not do this if they perceived me to be “self promoting.”

If someone decides to become my client after experiencing the quality of the content I share, it will be my privilege to work with them.

But that potential is never why I share.

It is never why I create the high quality content I create.

It is never why I share it out on Facebook.

I provide this content completely for free, instead of insisting you buy a book or course from me to access it.

I do this because I am passionate about my desire for you to come to see romantic love as your purpose.

I really hope your love life will be changed for the better, as a result of encountering my thoughts.

This is why I do EVERYTHING I do.

But make no mistake. Because this is my passion, I will NEVER stop promoting the relevant, worthwhile content I have to offer.

I know what’s at stake for you if you read what I’ve written and really take it to heart.

I believe my thoughts will impact you for the better.

And if you are commenting on Facebook, I encourage you take the same attitude toward what you have to share as well.

I encourage you to do what I do.

Have I published a Facebook post and you think you have something to share, that will add value to the conversation?

Please!

“Hijack” my post!

Even if what you’re sharing is something you’ve written yourself.

Share what you have to share!

Social media is a public sharing platform. It is not something to try to control.

If you try to do this, you will simply turn people off.

They will see you do not want them to freely share.

You only want to control them.

They will cease to be interested in what you have to share.

So you will lose your voice with them as well.

I encourage you instead to welcome everyone to share the value they bring to the table, without limitation.

Does someone disagree with you or say things you think are irrelevant?

Let them have their say!

How do you know what value will come to your readers?

The only way we change and grow is through the free market of ideas, with people freely contributing.

I say let the value flow!

Let readers decide for themselves what’s relevant to them and what’s not!

What right do you or I have to make that choice for them?

There is wisdom in the counsel of many, never in the counsel of few.

The more people commenting and sharing their thoughts, the more information we all have available to form our own.

This is why I do what I do on social media.

I hope you will do so too.

What do you say? Isn’t it time you quit being so shy and do more “self promoting?”