Tell me if you can’t relate to this experience of mine guys?
I’m walking through a Skytrain checkpoint.
I glance back and notice that the card scanner is refusing a cute girl’s card.
So I walk back and tell her to try another machine.
I say I don’t know why but sometimes they do that and that’s the answer I’ve found.
She smiles and thanks me. I turn and continue walking to the escalator but notice in my peripheral vision she is right behind me.
I feel that momentary feeling of anxiety.
Should I approach her?
Then I realize…
Do trees bark?
Does the sky ever get blue?
Am I alive and breathing?
I’m attracted to her so of course I should approach her. So as I move to the second escalator out of the station I watch in my peripherals again.
She’s right behind me again.
So I turn and see she’s looking at her phone.
I know I’ll have to interrupt her.
But it’s literally now or never.
If I don’t say something I’ll never see her again.
I search my mind for a brilliant line. Nope. Nothing there. So I say the first thing that comes to mind instead.
“So is Yaletown home for you?”
Can you sense the lack of brilliance going on here?
She replies, “No I live in Gastown. I’m just here visiting a friend.”
She lives in my vicinity!
“So have you lived in Vancouver long?” I ask.
“About four years,” she says.
“Oh where did you come from?”
The brilliance is almost earth shattering now right?
“I came from out east. I lived in Toronto while I went to school. I didn’t like it there because it was too cold.”
But notice the investment in the conversation?
That’s always a VERY good sign.
So I keep going.
“Well they’re talking about us having another cold winter ourselves.”
I’m really outdoing myself now!
“Nothing like out east though,” she replies.
I turn away from her figuring this is all I’ve got and begin to move away when suddenly it happens. I hear over my shoulder, “How long have you lived here?”
Did you hear that guys?
She just asked ME a question!
She expressed a specific interest in ME.
I was giving her all the room she needed to go her way.
But she wanted to keep on talking.
Whenever a girl asks YOU something personal about yourself, this is a definite indication of interest (IOI).
“About three years,” I reply.
“I came from the Okanagan. Kind of Canada’s version of tropical.”
Where do I come up with this stuff eh?
She smiles but at this point we reached the other side of the street and we were clearly headed different directions.
She says to me, “Well it was nice talking with you.”
And that was it.
I walked away.
I kid you not.
I wasted all the effort I put in to approach her. To build that easy rapport we had going on. She gave me total IOI…and I just let her go!
And kicked myself all the way home and well into the evening too.
I share this because I want you to know that I’m only human.
Just like you.
I don’t “close” everytime like I should.
I get anxious or don’t know what to say too.
What could I have said in this case?
What I should have said is this: “Well you’re heading to your friend’s place and I’ve got to be somewhere too. But you seem nice. Let’s trade numbers and I’ll message you soon and we’ll do drinks.”
That’s all it would have taken.
Given her obvious IOI I am confident she would have said, “Sure!”
Then I would have opened a new contact record on my phone.
I would have said, “Here put your name and number in for me.”
Of course I would have told her my name too and then I would have wished her a good evening and been on my way.
And I would have felt great that I followed through on my efforts.
But instead I walked away with nothing.
And that’s why sometimes it sucks to be me.
How about you guys? How would you have handled this situation so you didn’t let her get away without getting her number?
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This Post Has One Comment
Been in those shoes many times myself! “Why didn’t I pursue her and take the next step??” Of course, hindsight is always 20/20..and I’m usually able to think about what WOULD have been the perfect line to say after the fact once I’m safe at home. I wouldn’t write off your experience as a total loss though. You did initiate contact when you approached her, and you conversed with her, which is already more than many men might have had the courage to do. Now, it’s just a matter of “practice makes perfect”. The more you approach women the more you refine your confidence and technique.