“How to get a guy to commit!”
“Do this and he’ll commit to you forever!”
“You can have the committed relationship you desire!”
“How to get Mr Emotionially Unavailable to commit!”
This is the clarion call of all the dating and relationship marketing aimed at you girls these days.
And for good reason.
Because this is YOUR clarion call as well.
“Commit to me!”
You go out on one date with a really great guy?
You’re already planning your wedding day.
You tell all your friends.
You get so excited!
As your relationship continues into the 3 month state you’re beginning to get uncomfortable. You want to know, “Where is this going?”
By month six he should have told you you’re exclusive.
That he sees a future with you.
If he hasn’t put a ring on it by the one year mark?
You’re wondering if you’ve wasted your time.
Because that’s what you want.
That he will be your “one and only” and “forsake all others.”
“Till death do you part.”
Okay so maybe you’re a modern girl and some of those phrases don’t apply. You’d be totally happy just living together.
As long as you’re an “item” and you know he’s committed to you.
Unfortunately your clarion call for commitment is perceived a little differently by him.
He sees it more like a SIREN call.
Drawing him away from his freedom and independence.
Into the abyss of not so happily ever after.
He has very good reasons he sees things that way.
The reason he’s quite happy to keep “stringing you along?” He’s not actually stringing you along at all.
What you see is what you get.
What a guy wants is to enjoy a romantic connection with you.
One that is mutually shared and enjoyed.
After all, that’s what romantic love is about.
He doesn’t have any agenda to “pin YOU down.”
He doesn’t want to force you into anything else. He just wants to enjoy being with you.
That IS his commitment, if you need to use that word.
But you want so much more than he’s ready to give you.
That doesn’t make him emotionally unavailable though.
He’s completely emotionally available to love you and enjoy your connection together.
It’s you who won’t commit…to THAT.
Until you will too?
Love will continue to elude you.
So what do you say girls? Are you finally ready to just commit to love or are you going to keep insisting on seeking more than just your connection with him?
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