Have you ever noticed this about guys?
We are pretty reclusive.
While there are exceptions to the rule?
Most of us guys don’t connect.
At least not the way you girls do.
When I was in my long term relationship, my partner was IT. She was the only one I really related to.
When I needed to vent?
Or I needed emotional support?
I would go to her.
If she and I were having problems welI…I was on my own.
That’s just how we guys are.
But have you girls ever wondered why this is?
I mean you girls just relate and relate and relate. You can’t even keep track of how many friends you have and you’re even indiscriminate about them being guys or girls.
Yes sometimes guys do a minimal “bro network.”
But we don’t even do that very well.
You probably think it is because we’re socialized to compete.
To be primarily independent.
There is definitely something to that thought.
But the reason goes much deeper than that.
And this is something you girls are often very insensitive to.
Your behavior patterns actually do a lot of harm because you’re so out of touch on this point.
Which I know is really odd to say to you girls.
You always think you’re the ones with the market on social sensitivity.
But here is this dark secret we guys never really tell you.
It’s the reason we don’t have a lot of friends.
For us connection is inherently sexual.
Unless we’re gay, we’re not going to be that way with other guys.
And we don’t really feel close with a girl we are with.
Not unless we’re experiencing a physical connection with her.
When we try to have that kind of platonic relationship, it creates a gaping wound in our souls.
Imagine trying to relate to one of your girlfriends.
And she doesn’t really let you in.
She spends time with you but she always “holds back.”
While you’re giving yourself over and over?
She just won’t reciprocate your love.
That is what happens to us guys when you want to be “just friends” with us.
Yes occasionally we can be “just friends” with you, but usually that is only because we don’t have sufficient attraction for you to want anything more.
But when we REALLY connect with you?
When it doesn’t include physical intimacy?
We feel the connection is incomplete.
Physical intimacy is THE WAY we express and receive love.
When it’s absent with someone we truly value and desire?
It is painful beyond belief.
This is why guys are so hung up about getting “friend zoned.” Because we don’t do “just friends” very well.
We do lovers or we go it alone.
I’m not saying this is ideal.
I’m just saying it’s a fact.
We are wired differently than you girls.
So you shouldn’t expect this to change.
The next time you think about being “just friends” with a guy, keep what I’ve said in mind. You’re not necessarily doing him any favors.
This is why I love Romantic Friendships.
They take into account you girls’ desire to connect with lots of people.
They take into account us guys’ desire to connect in a physical way.
Why should emotional connection only be done YOUR way?
Why should guys expect sex with lots of girls, without being emotionally connective too?
Romantic Friendships allows BOTH of you to have a connection that’s meaningful.
One that meets what is important to BOTH of you.
And you can have this type of connection with anyone you experience it with.
What do you think? Is it time to become as sensitive as you always say you are?