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Why Do You Believe In Monogamy? (Part 3)

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Why Do You Believe In Monogamy?

I’ve shown you the statistics monogamy doesn’t work.

I’ve shown you why in your own case those stats are relevant.

But there is one more question you might still have.

Are those statistics ACCURATE?

Recently in a Facebook guy’s group I frequent I was asked this very question. A guy pointed to a recent report by the Institute of Family Studies (IFS) that claims the divorce rate has hit a 50 year low now.

If this is really the case?

How can I still say monogamy isn’t working?

The reason is that as with all statistics?

You need to understand what you’re looking at.

What this IFS study looks at is the number of existing marriages in a particular year that end up divorcing. In 1980 that number was a high of 22.6 per thousand marriages but as of 2019 that number has dropped to 14.9.

But what you should be asking yourself right now?

With those numbers how did we EVER get that 50% divorce statistic?

We got it because the calculation in the IFS report?

It isn’t the standard way divorce stats are calculated at all.

The true divorce statistic is a percentage of the number of divorces that happen in a given year compared to the number of marriages that happen that same year. When this standard calculation is used in some cases the rate is actually as high as 63-65%.

If you want to get into all the details?

This article should get you started.

But the bottom line remains the same.

Monogamy DOESN’T work.

The IFS report also says the number of people getting married each year now is much lower. What that means for the annual IFS divorce statistic is that if people cohabit and their relationship ends? They are not even going to show up.

And as I told you in Part 1?

All of this completely ignores marriages that are unhappy.

Even if the IFS info is right marriages are lasting a bit longer?

Marriage length is not an indicator of marriage happiness.

Remember when it comes to your love life it is not a question of whether or not you’ll break up THIS year. It is whether you will break up EVENTUALLY or whether you are happy irrespective of this.

When you take all of this into account?

Monogamy’s prospects remain dismal.

When it comes to enjoying romantic love in your life?

You’re better off going with Romantic Friendships instead!

What do you think? Still willing to gamble your love life against those daunting house statistics or are you ready to play your hand in a way that is a much better bet?

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