I read this great article today.

It’s written by a girl struggling to find love.

Of course her personality type wasn’t helping.

In Myers-Briggs terminology she is an ENFJ.

These wonderful people are known to be teachers. As the author says, they are “devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault.”

Only problem?

This seems to make finding love a “battlefield.”

Where does this author keep ending up?

In serial monogamy.

The reason she keeps having to move on, is because she keeps pushing for something “lasting” and it doesn’t work. She stays around trying to make things work, even when there are “clear problems.”

I don’t know this girl.

But I know girls.

You are your own worst enemies.

Often when you see “problems?”

They really DON’T exist.

She tells the story of giving up trying to make her love life happen. Instead she decided to start taking a more casual approach.

She met an INTJ guy. (Hmmm)

They started a “no-strings-attached” relationship.

Lived life “like it was fleeting.”

“Like it was rare.”

Like “something this rich, couldn’t possibly last forever.”

Long and the short of it is, after 6 months, she ended up in the “most stable, loving, committed and honest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

I wonder though.

What exactly does she mean by “committed” here?

Has this guy proposed to her?

Or at least agreed to exclusivity?

Was that still a requirement?

What exactly turns “casual” into a REAL relationship?

As you know by now, monogamy always works wonderfully in the BEGINNING. It’s usually 6 months to 3 years after you move in together, before the edges start to fray.

To me what this girl is describing?

It sounds like a wonderful romantic friendship.

“No-strings-attached?”

That’s how you always ought to love!

Not committing to monogamy doesn’t mean you’re not committed to your partner. The thing you’re really committed to though, is the love the two of you share.

You can enjoy that with anyone.

You don’t have to be exclusive.

I don’t call this casual though.

There is nothing casual about REAL love.

Once I have that for a girl?

It never goes away for me.

What do you think? Does somebody have to commit to monogamy with you, before you have a real relationship, or is a real relationship when you both share real romantic love?