“He doesn’t show he cares anymore!”

“She’s not interested in sex now!”

“He never wants to talk!”

“She’d rather go out with her girlfriends!”

It doesn’t really matter in what particular way your partner has become distant. As long as they aren’t connecting anymore your relationship is over.

Harsh words?

Too extreme?

You’re really not understanding.

Your situation is dire.

Whether you recognize it or not the things I listed at the start, that are no longer happening, are the things lovers do because they love each other.

Once they stop?

You might as well pack your bags.

Your connection is just a sham.

The train has already left the station!

One way or another your partner has become completely complacent. They think because they HAVE you they no longer need to share themselves with you.

First thing you need to realize?

What they are doing is totally acceptable.

They don’t owe you their love.

You have to come to grips with that.

Once you understand this you will be in the place where you can actually rectify the situation. Either you decide you’re done with them or you see if you can wake them up again.

You don’t do that by blaming or shaming them.

You just give them an ultimatum.

Without demanding anything you just withdraw your blank check.

Show them you don’t owe them anything either.

When someone slacks off on their connection with you they have just lost sight of this. They need you to let them know you’re okay with what they are choosing but it comes at a definite price then.

The price is you and if they still value you?

Then they need to once again start showing it.

If they don’t that’s totally cool as well.

You’ll just be totally on your way then.

What do you think? Do you value your relationship enough to go to bat for it by being willing to lose it if that’s what it takes to save it?