A relationship coach friend of mine?

He recently put out a piece on monogamy.

He agrees with much of what I say.

That you’ll never find “the one” by searching for them.

Where he and I differ however, is he still believes you can find “the one” eventually. But he says you don’t really “find” them. They BECOME “the one” as you get to know each other, and you see you are both reliable.

He offers a quote that really means this to him.

I shared the first part in this blog post’s title.

It sounds like a really great way to live.

But see if you can identify why it actually isn’t:

“My heart is at ease knowing that what is meant for me will never miss me, and whatever misses me was never meant for me.”

He tells his listeners to hold onto that.

Guide your life through it.

It’s such an easy way to flow with everything.

Can you see it?

Can you feel it?

The FANTASY machine is churning.

Of course the phrase makes things sound really great. No matter what happens, you can’t miss experiencing what is really meant for you.

But doesn’t it also say the exact opposite too?

Everything that misses you?

That also isn’t meant for you.

In other words?

C’est la vie!

Whatever will be will be, no matter what you do about it.

But does this somehow change what I’ve told you, that long term monogamy will fail you? Of course it doesn’t. Because when it fails, that is also just what was MEANT for you.

So sorry once again.

I always hate being the bad news messenger.

All the lovely platitudes in the world?

They’re not going to change human psychology.

Romantic Friendships take that into account.

They really are the relationship option for the 21st Century.

What do you think? Do you really think you should just be content, that whatever is meant to be in your love life will “just happen,” or are you better off to be proactive about it, instead of just letting what happens happen?