“But who do I wake up with in the morning?”
She asked me this because we were talking about polyamory.
“You talk about that a lot. I just don’t quite understand how it all works logistically?”
I love intelligent girls! Girls who think about their love life and how to make it work.
Because often your love life doesn’t.
Makes you feel like giving up.
Is love really worth the effort?
When you so often come up empty?
Around here I try to share with you the reasons your dating and relationship life is such a total fail.
It really isn’t rocket science.
We just don’t seem to be truly wired for monogamy.
Guys usually recognize this.
They are so naturally addicted to sex.
They can barely keep it in their pants until the next girl comes along.
Of course I think that’s a problem and I talk about that a lot as well.
You girls think you’re wired for monogamy.
But that’s just a cruel trick nature is playing on you too.
I suggest an alternative…don’t play nature’s game. Take control of your own love life and try a different path instead.
The path of Romantic Friendships.
But that one still confuses you.
Isn’t the point of a romantic relationship, that you have somebody to wake up with every morning?
If you go all polyamorous?
Won’t that mean you’ll wake up with a total stranger in your bed?
Somebody you don’t really know?
If you spread your love too thin, can you experience REAL connection this way?
I understand your consternation.
Whenever you explore something new?
It’s bound to leave you dizzy.
If not completely lost.
But really what I’m suggesting here is not that radical at all.
One of my biggest problems persuading you girls to be open to Romantic Friendships, is what I’m talking about is almost exactly what you desire already anyway.
You already want to spend time with your guy.
To communicate together.
Show love and affection to each other.
You want to make love.
In other words you want a REAL connection with your partner.
That’s what I’m all about too.
It isn’t about sleeping around or just having a bunch of sex partners. That’s a pretty empty way to live in my opinion.
It’s about enjoying connection.
Messaging each other every day or talking on the phone.
Eating out or eating in.
Dancing into the late night hours or taking in a play.
Just doing what YOU enjoy doing together.
Any time you want to wake up together, just sleep over at each other’s place.
But anytime you want?
You can decide to wake up alone as well.
Romantic Friendships are just like you’re used to when you’re dating someone new, except the newness never ends.
Not just because you’re always open to connection with someone new.
You get together with any of your existing partners, when you want to enjoy the connection you share.
When you’re satisifed you say goodbye.
Until it’s time to connect again.
You keep in touch in between as well.
Just like normal couples do.
Romantic Friendships are almost like staying in a perpetual state of dating.
You can go as deep or as light as you want, in any given encounter.
It is completely up to you and your partner,to decide what your romantic friendship entails.
And you know what is really interesting about Romantic Friendships?
I’ve never heard ANYBODY say they wake up with a stranger in their bed.
Sadly I can’t say the same thing about traditional monogamy.
Hopefully I’ve shed some light here on what it’s like to have a romantic friendship with a partner.
You’re friends…with benefits.
But not the way that phrase is usually meant.
Instead you get all the benefits of real romantic love.
Without all the things that usually break it down.
So what do you think? Are you ready to try reconfiguring your love life so you don’t end up with a stranger in your bed?
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