Do you really trust him?

Are you sure that she is faithful?

What does trust really mean?

What IS faithfulness?

Because you’ve been raised to believe that you must find your “one and only?” Your fundamental understanding of what trust and faithfulness is has become completely skewed.

What do you think faithfulness means?

Does it mean he won’t have an affair on you?

He won’t look at porn?

He won’t message other girls?

If you’re a guy of course you probably still think it means something similar. It means she won’t flirt with every cute guy she meets or make out with him or “worse.”

But the only thing these requirements show?

It’s your total insecurity.

Whether your partner loves anyone else?

That has nothing to do with you.

Your partner could have 5 other lovers and still continue to be faithful. Faithfulness is not a function of whether or not they have another “someone” besides you.

The only question you should be asking?

Is your partner still CONNECTING?

As long as your partner is doing that?

They are still faithful to YOU.

Faithfulness is whether you have their heart, not whether you have it exclusively. Would you want them all to yourself, if they were not truly into you?

If you just said “No” to that?

Then you’re seeing what I’m saying.

The only thing that matters in love?

It’s how you connect when you do.

So the next time you find yourself asking whether or not you can trust your partner is faithful, ask yourself instead whether or not they are still connecting with you.

If they are, you can trust them, whether or not they are “faithful.”

Only if they are not connecting do you have any problem at all.

But the problem is never about anyone else.

It’s only and always about the two of you.

What do you think? Does it really matter to your relationship whether or not your partner has other lovers, or is the only thing that matters whether you partner is still in love with you?