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To Please An Addict

A Facebook friend of mine published a post yesterday.

He titled it, TO PLEASE A WOMAN.

As I read it I found myself becoming exhausted.

Gladly a few of the girls in the comments thought so too!

What mortal male could ever do all these things?

Make her laugh and smile?


Be present and be her friend?

No problem!

At first I thought, “Yeah that sounds really good” but then things took a downhill turn from there. When he said, “Keep on doing the little things” I knew the fine print was about to be revealed.

Sure enough.

The enumeration of those “little things?”

He could have published a book of what was now expected.

The massage and neck rub.

The Pino Noir.

The moon that shines and the scented candle.

Rose petals leading to the bubble bath.

Satin sheets to make love until the break of dawn.

The more I read this description of female fantasy the more the thought kept pounding in my head, “Would somebody please come and shoot me?!”

And then the BIG reveal occurred.

You have to work.

Earn her trust.

Prove she is the object of all your desires.

All your love and lust.

Stay creative.

Don’t be a bore! (There is that word again!)

Always keep her guessing.

Keep her excited there are always things left to explore.

I guess by my reaction you can understand why a guy like me doesn’t seem to have many takers. But then again I’m not really looking for girls who want to TAKE and TAKE from me all the time.

I’m sure I could please a drug addict too.

If I kept feeding him his fix over and over.

And judging from the vast number of girls who chimed in during the comments?

There were quite a few of those addicts present too.

But love is not about taking.

It is not about being served.

Not about meeting your partner’s expectations.

It’s not about expectations at all.

Love is about valuing your partner for who she is and her valuing you for who you are too. It is not about a bunch of “little things” you do to try to convince her that she’s loved.

Give your partner the gift of YOURSELF.

Nothing else.

And see what she does with it.

If she doesn’t love you for YOU?

What are you doing there anyway?

Of course the guys chimed in.

Said pleasing a guy is very simple.

Just feed him and give him sex.

My friend agreed this was all that’s required.

That right there ought to be an indication to you something is very wrong with the advice being given. Why is it that guys are so easily pleased and girls aren’t pleased unless you’re endlessly doing something NEW to make them feel “special?”


That is why.

An addict never gets enough from any of his fixes.

Girls are addicted to being swept off their feet.

Treated like the only one.

Feed them THAT and they’ll NEVER be pleased with you.

Oh yes temporarily but not for the long run.

What you need is to get them off the drug.

So they value YOU and just want to be WITH you.

Any girls left now to answer my question? Am I right or am I right that you’re addicted to being convinced over and over that he really loves you because you don’t really value him for who he is?

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