As you may have noticed by now?
I’m a patterns guy.
I analyse everything I do in terms of them.
I find life easier to live when I feel like I understand it.
Love is no different than anything else, because it also takes on repeatable patterns. If you take the time to understand what these are, you’re going to be much happier for it.
One of these patterns is the three types of lovers.
Submissive. Dominant. Independent.
This pattern relates to a more general pattern.
It’s called the passive/aggressive scale.
Passive people are more submissive lovers, and tend to prefer letting their lover lead them. Aggressive people are more dominant lovers, and enjoy controlling what their lovers do.
Usually submissive and dominant lovers get along.
They are sort of made for each other.
Dominant lovers like lovers who let them have their way.
Submissive lovers like to let them.
How this translates in nature’s terms?
Guys lead.
Girls follow .
“Oh wait,’ you say. “That’s not me at all. I’m a guy and I’m VERY passive. I actually wish girls would take the lead more, so I don’t have to ‘man up’ all the time.”
I know a lot of you girls disagree too.
You are total BOSS LADIES.
You don’t like being submissive except in love.
There?
You like to be dominated!
But haven’t you noticed?
There is a big difference between you, and a GUY who is dominant!
Not only does a dominant guy like to lead, but he also likes girls who are submissive. That passive guy that you attract with your strength makes you cringe, and you call him a Nice Guy.
You dominant girls are dyslexic.
You’re the victim of what feminism has done to you.
Nature has wired you to want a dominant love.
But that dominant guy, is not looking for competition in ANYTHING.
This is why you can’t be happy in love.
You attract the type of lover your strength matches.
The type of lover you wish you had?
Your overall strength REPELS him.
So what is the answer to this frustrating challenge? Believe it or not it’s actually very simple. Get off the passive/aggressive scale altogether, and your love life will become quite simple then.
The people who are truly happy in love?
They are neither dominant NOR submissive.
They don’t care who leads or follows.
They are outcome independent instead.
Independent lovers are okay with themselves, so they don’t need to lead or be led by anybody. They aren’t in relationships to GET anything. They just value being with their partner and that’s it.
Everybody has value to offer.
Independent lovers recognize this.
They share with each other from mutual respect.
Lead and follow are irrelevant categories then.
When you finally let go of the need for CONTROL?
Or the need for someone to LEAD you?
That’s when love will start to make sense.
You’ll experience genuine romantic connection instead.
What do you think? Are you ready to become so okay with yourself, that you no longer need someone who is dominant or submissive?
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