There Are Only 3 Types Of Lovers – Which One Are You? (Part 2)

This entry is part 2 of 3 in the series There Are Only 3 Types Of Lovers - Which One Are You?

In Part 1 I introduced you to a pattern.

It’s called The 3 Types Of Lovers.

Dominant. Submissive.

And Independent as well.

Seeing whether you’ve made it off the Dominant/Submissive scale is one good way to explore this. Another way is by becoming familiar with your attachment style.

The two patterns are related.

If you’re Dominant you’ll tend to be a Love Avoidant.

If you are more the Submissive type?

You’ll major in Love Addiction instead.

This all makes sense when you think about it, because Love Avoidants are quite controlling. The idea is you don’t want that lover of yours getting too close.

A Love Addict is the opposite extreme.

With this attachment style you’re very anxious.

Since you’re always worried if your lover is loving you?

You tend to “do what you’re told.”

Since getting off the Dominant/Submissive scale was the answer in Part 1 I offered? It shouldn’t surprise you the same thing applies in the attachment theory world too.

Just like to overcome Dominance/Submissiveness?

You need to become Outcome Independent?

To overcome Love Avoidance/Love Addiction?

You need to become Securely Attached instead.

The way you do so is exactly the same as I showed you in my first installment. To become Securely Attached, you have to get so you don’t care and are okay alone.

So in a very real sense?

This is just another way to view the overall situation.

When the rubber meets the road?

What the 3 Types Of Lovers reflects?

Whether or not you’re okay in your own skin.

When you have a healthy attachment style, you are not going to need to avoid or dominate anybody. You also are not going to be clingy and submissive, because you’re not needy anymore.

And just like with the Dominance/Submissiveness scale?

You need to get off the Love Avoidant/Love Addict scale completely.

When you become Securely Attached?

You won’t be trapped in either of these patterns then.

So what do you say? Do you find this way of looking at your relationship experience helpful, and if so, will you commit to becoming Securely Attached and Independent now?