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There Are Not 5 Relationship Stages

I kept hearing about this whole “relationship stages” thing.

Especially the alleged “Power Struggle” stage.

I finally got a chance to review it here.

Per my usual I found myself disagreeing.

Turns out this is really a misnomer because it should be called The 5 Stages Of Monogamy. If you insist on following that failed relationship paradigm? These 5 stages are indeed what you’ll be experiencing.

Most people encounter the “Romance Stage.”

But that one is just about attraction.

It’s the first thing that tells you you’re on the wrong track.

Follow nature and you’ll get what you get unfortunately.

The “Power Struggle Stage” of course is the fact that you don’t really fall in love with anybody. What you fall in love with instead is a fantasy you’ve created about each other ultimately.

Here again if you’re not monogamous though?

It doesn’t matter if you don’t “fully” value your partner.

As long as there are things about them you DO value?

You can easily have a romantic friendship with them.

The reason monogamy has the “Stability Stage” is, if you manage to avoid divorce (fat chance), it means you’ve probably finally learned to compromise with each other. Of course if you followed my advice in the first place, you would never have had to!

The only reason those major conflicts happen?

It’s because you insisted on living together.

Thinking you can bottle up your love like this?

You all but guarantee your love is going to falter.

This brings us to the “Commitment Stage.” No this one isn’t about committing to marriage. It means you’ve finally decided you’re not going to bail, every time your partner shows that they are just as human as you are.

I talk about this all the time.

But that’s just about having a real connection.

Loving your partner “warts and all?”

It’s the least you can do for each other.

The “Bliss/Co-Creation Stage” isn’t even necessary for monogamy. There is no reason anybody has to turn their relationship into a project to “change the world” particularly.

All you need to enjoy romantic love?

Somebody who shares your desire for it.

The only “stage” for Romantic Friendships?

Just show up and that will do quite nicely!

What do you think? Do you really need to drag your love life through this burdensome “5 stage” relationship adventure, or would you rather just enjoy your connection, and forget about all this other baggage?

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