If you’re like most people you don’t understand romantic love and how easy it is to experience it in your life.
Instead you see love as elusive, fragile, and impossible to experience and enjoy.
You long for love in your life but no matter how hard you try, you keep coming up empty.
Either because you can’t find love, or when you find love it quickly fades.
So you end up searching again wondering if you’ll ever finally fill the longing in your heart.
I feel for you.
I feel for everyone I encounter who thinks romantic love is so hard.
Because you’re completely wrong about this.
Romantic love is not hard.
Not at all.
It is the easiest thing in the world to experience in your life.
Okay that’s not quite true. There is indeed one catch I will share with you in a moment.
But minus this one thing, having love in your life is so easy it almost brings me to tears watching people miss it.
Once you understand the real reason you don’t have love in your life, everything will change.
Are you ready? Really ready to change everything?
The real reason you don’t have love in your life is because you don’t really want love in your life.
I’m smiling a bit imagining your reaction.
“What is he talking about? I’ve spent most of my life wanting to find true love!”
“A lot of my struggles in life have been about trying to get my love life to work. There’s nothing I want more in my life than love.”
Really? Nothing you want more?
You’re completely deceiving yourself.
If you really wanted love in your life more than anything else, you would be focused on nothing else.
And you would want it more than you want to breathe.
The fact is you want everything BUT love. And that is why you don’t have it.
Okay if you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know by now I’m not a guy who just makes claims like this without backing them up.
So let me start calming that little incredulity ticker of yours!
Let’s do a thought experiment.
Imagine you’re in a restaurant catching up with someone and they tell you they want to get to New York as quickly as possible.
Once they say this they start asking you about your life and what’s been going on with you.
The waiter walks up and they casually order dinner. Then they start saying tomorrow the two of you should meet up for a movie.
You’re a bit confused. And shouldn’t you be?
Because they just told you they want to get to New York as quickly as possible.
Yet here they are shooting the breeze with you and talking about tomorrow’s plans.
So you point this out to them and they say “Oh yeah right. Let me hop on my phone and book my tickets.”
But as they search this online they notice WestJet has a fantastic deal on flights to Maui right now.
So they book flights to there instead.
Now you’re really confused.
Because you passed the first grade, you know they cannot possibly want to get to New York as quickly as possible the way they’re behaving.
Whatever they are saying they want, you know that’s not really what they want.
It can’t be.
Because what they are actually doing doesn’t match what they are claiming.
This is exactly what you do with your love life. You say you want romantic love in your life but you pursue everything but romantic love.
Here’s what I mean.
I’ve defined romantic love as the desire to experience sexual fulfillment and emotional connection that is mutually shared and enjoyed.
So if you really want love in your life more than you want anything else, this is what you should be pursuing and everything you do should show it.
But what your actions show is you actually want just about everything else.
You want a person who will commit themselves to you and only you. That means you want exclusivity, not romantic love.
You want a person who is financially stable or ambitious. That means you want a provider, not romantic love.
You want someone who shares your life goals and has similar direction to you. That means you want a compatriot, not romantic love.
You want someone who wants to have kids with you. That means you want a family, not romantic love.
You want someone who makes personal development a priority. That means you want personal growth, not romantic love.
You want to find your soulmate. That means you want someone to fix your emotional woundedness, not romantic love.
Don’t misunderstand me.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with wanting those things and pursuing them.
I’m just saying they have nothing at all to do with romantic love.
Absolutely none of them are required to experience love in your life.
You can enjoy sexual fulfillment and emotional connection that is mutually shared and enjoyed without any of these other things being involved.
It’s easy to experience romantic love. All you have to do is be open to experiencing it yourself and then find someone else who shares your desire to do so and share it with them.
But that’s the one catch I was talking about earlier.
Because most other people out there are just as confused as you are about how easy it is to love and be loved.
Just like you they say they want love.
But what they really want is always something else from their laundry list of requirements.
So love eludes them too.
To experience romantic love you need to find someone who also wants this more than anything else.
But I hope you can see it is not romantic love that is causing the issue for you. It is you. It is your mind getting in the way of your heart. When you go with your heart romantic love just flows. Easily. When you start thinking and your list of requirements gets in the way, love fades on you.
You can’t change other people.
You can only change yourself.
Once you get your own focus straight and get your mind and its requirements out of the way, love just flows from you and you really are ready to experience romantic love with anyone.
This makes it all much easier.
Now you are in a place to attract the very thing you want and the type of person you want.
Someone who shares your desire for romantic love more than anything else.
It doesn’t mean everybody else will get it.
But you are only looking for the few.
They are out there and they will resonate with you when they encounter you.
In fact you may even find your energy changing those around you.
Because once you shift from requirement to openness you will start to attract lovers to you, instead of repelling them.
Only one question remains.
Do you REALLY want love in your life?