I’ve had several of you girls insist on this.

You can tell a LOT about a guy based on that very first kiss.

You can tell what type of lover he’ll be.

Check your sexual compatibility.

It’s like advance alien technology or something!

Can you imagine what Cool Girl must have thought the first time she and I ate out together and I said, “It’s a good thing we won’t be kissing tonight?”

I said this because I was eating onions.

I’m always very careful about breath when I’m in the presence of a girl.

I know how awful it can be when he goes in for the kiss and then.

Oh!!!

You know the story!

But why did I explicitly say I had no intention of kissing her, when I was out with her for the express purpose of exploring a potential connection?

Isn’t that a buzz kill?

No.

It’s not.

If anything it is the perfect test.

It shows what you’re really about.

Because romantic love is not about SEX.

It is about getting to KNOW someone for who they really are.

Coming to value them enough that you want to share yourself with them.

Which means heading straight to kissing?

That is a huge RED FLAG.

The problem is most guys are “out for sex” and they know the best route to get there is if they can kiss you.

You think you’re NOT out for sex.

You think you want true love.

But you’re completely wrong about that.

You’re “out for sex” too you just don’t know it.

You’re just going about in in the female way of doing so.

Because you’re not conscious though?

You don’t RECOGNIZE this.

So it gets you into trouble.

The purpose of attraction, whether male or female, is to ultimately get you to have sex together. The reason for this is because nature wants you to get some babies on the way.

This is DNA 101.

But nature fools you girls about this.

At least the guys understand it’s about sex.

You think it is all about love.

“Chemistry” as you call it.

When you let a guy physically escalate?

You think you’re just testing the waters.

Will you be compatible?

Is he a good lover?

But really that first kiss is actually a different kind of test altogether.

Unknown to you, what you’re really testing is how gullible you are in the face of someone very talented in seduction.

The pickup artists know this.

They know if they can get you to kiss them, they can get you into bed.

Because once you’re juices are flowing?

Both figuratively and LITERALLY?

It is a very short distance between these two points.

Since you girls are emotional creatures?

You will follow how you FEEL.

You prove this to us all the time.

Based on my experience with most of the girls I’ve explored potential romantic connection with? You are simply not conscious enough to truly take the time to start a relationship the right way.

If a guy tries to get to know you first?

You decide he’s not “romantic potential.”

You place him firmly in the friend zone.

You never get to experience what a real lover he could be.

Because what you think of as a lover?

That’s really just your pusher.

Your addiction to being “swept off your feet” is the equivalent of a guy’s desire to bed a porn star. It is not based on who the guy really IS but solely on how he makes you FEEL.

So all you are is a junkie!

Just like most GUYS are sexually.

You’re addicted to the same kind of dopamine hit.

The hit of being “romanced” and “swept away.” 

If a guy makes you feel like THAT?

You think that he’s a keeper!

Doesn’t matter that he’s really a player.

You can’t sense that at all.

The only thing he’s going to keep, is keep moving on his way. Once that first kiss leads to you “give it all away,” you’ll be just another conquest in his series of “romantic” encounters.

So what did Cool Girl do that day when I said we wouldn’t be kissing?

She tells me she thought to herself,

“I guess we won’t be kissing today.”

Then she continued to spend time with me.

She even risked the friend zone herself, by commiserating with me over another girl I was seeing.

I was heavily attracted to this other girl at the time.

Reality check. I’m polyamorous and Cool Girl knew that from the beginning. So she just stuck it out with me and supported me as that other love was struggling along.

I was so heavily attracted to this other girl?

I was really careful at that time.

I didn’t want to USE Cool Girl as a rebound.

I waited about 10 weeks after that break up before Cool Girl and I first kissed.

She waited too.

She didn’t friend zone me because I wasn’t getting physical with her. She just took the time to hang out with me as we got to know each other naturally.

She didn’t need to “test the waters.”

Decide if we’d be” compatible.”

She didn’t do ANY of that silly stuff at all.

When I was finally clear of my emotions for this other girl?

I finally “made my move” as you girls call it.

The rest is history.

Cool Girl and I have a wonderful connection.

Based on mutual value and care.

We really care deeply about each other and want to share ourselves with each other as a result.

We’re compatible of course.

Because REAL compatiblity?

It’s based on mutual sharing.

It’s not about PERFORMANCE.

Or getting everything right.

It’s about sharing yourselves at the deepest level.

Giving and receiving as you go.

What do you think girls? Do you still think that first kiss is a high tech sensing device or do you realize how silly you’re being?