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The Monogamy Nirvana Quandary

As I’ve told you before?

The best argument I’ve heard for monogamy?

For lack of a better term?

I’ve dubbed it “Monogamy Nirvana.”

This is the claim that the reason you should reject all forms of polyamory including Romantic Friendships, is because by doing so you pave the way to experiencing the highest possible form of intimate bonding.

But the challenge is?

Monogamy is something for which you are INSISTING.

When you say, “Choose me ‘fully’ or nothing?”

You are negating your partner’s freedom.

So how does our Monogamy Nirvana advocate respond to this? By insisting that the union of the two souls with each other is always “voluntary.” They “freely choose” each other and no one else, so this preserves them in their individual autonomy.

But that’s just the problem isn’t it?

Because monogamy isn’t truly an OPTION.

If your partner won’t be exclusive with you or ceases to be?

Then you will no longer allow yourself to express your love for them.

You can pay lip service all you want to the idea that you are respecting your partner’s freedom by only desiring to connect with them “fully” if they also WANT to connect “fully” with you. But as long as that’s a condition of sharing your love, all you’re really doing is LYING.

The truth is you’re NOT emotionally available to them.

The minute they come to love someone else?

You HAVE TO immediately choose to walk away from them.

So much for claiming you love them!

There’s logically no way around the fact that despite claiming your priority is LOVE, your actual priority is always and only MONOGAMY. And monogamy requires you to say “No” to love, whenever love fails to satisfy its exclusivity condition.

I’ve experience this fact many times.

Once again just recently.

A girl who I loved and I know loved me too?

She walked away for no other reason than this IDEOLOGY.

Alas, this is the price I pay for authentically keeping my heart open to love wherever I experience it. It becomes clear to me over and over again that love is simply not most people’s true priority.

But as I’ve said many times?

You’re only looking for “the few.”

And when you meet one of them?

Magic happens!

How about you? Do you truly think you can hold yourself open to love, yet at the same time reject it when it doesn’t fit monogamy’s criteria?

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