I was seawall walking the other day.
It was with a girl I’d expressed interest in.
As I often do with girls?
Step one was a casual walk and talk.
Just a chance to get to know each other.
As usual she knew I do relationship consulting, so she was curious about my perspectives. I haven’t quite figured out just yet, how to avoid this more cerebral start to getting to know someone.
Why do I say I want to avoid it?
It’s not conducive to you experiencing emotion.
If you girls don’t feel something right away?
You tend to write me off.
Such is my lot in life unfortunately!
Be that as it may, yet again we were chatting about the Battle Of The Sexes. As we talked, our conversation meandered to the theme of who should approach who.
As you know, the common assumption?
It is the guy who does the pursuing.
If you pursue the guy iinstead?
You might just turn him off.
Or so says the “conventional” wisdom.
She asked me what I thought about this, and I said I actually love when a girl approaches me. Sadly though, if a girl does this she is usually not my type.
I don’t usually click with more dominant girls.
But you are the most likely to take action.
You are the “movers and shakers” after all.
“Why wait for him?”
“Let’s get this done!” is your modus operandi.
I told this girl, who I really wish would approach me, are the most unlikely. The girls I connect with the best, tend to be the sweeter more submissive ones.
Needless to say?
It is very rare, that you sweet girls “come a callin’.”
The possibility of rejection?
It’s just too much for you.
It’s very unlikely I’d say no to you.
A lot of really great guys feel similarly.
One possible exception here, is if as a submissive girl, you are also independent. If you have a bit more confidence in yourself, you might just make your move on me.
Cool Girl was an example of this.
Yes she is very sweet and submissive.
But she is also independent.
This other aspect to her character?
It made it much easier for us, when we were first connecting.
I guess what I’m trying to tell you sweet girls, is don’t underestimate your possibilities. There are lots of loving, introverted guys like me, who would absolutely love it if you would reach out to us!
What have you got to lose?
We don’t bite.
Go ahead and express your interest.
It doesn’t matter who approaches who.
All that matters is that one of you does it!
What do you think, you sweet lovely things? Could you push yourself past your natural timidity, and make your crush’s day by taking your chances, and letting him know you’re into him?