I wrote a while back about the girl with the silver hair.
I approached her when I saw her at a street festival one day.
I just walked up to her and told her how I felt.
That I thought her hair was beautiful.
But I left it just at that.
The girl with the red hair was the exact opposite. I wasn’t approaching her at all.
She is a business person and I wanted to meet up with her and compare notes.
See if there was any potential for collaboration.
I do this a lot in the Vancouver area.
Was I interested in her romantically?
I thought she was attractive but as you should know by now?
I don’t really approach things that way at all.
Whether or not I’m interested in seeing where a personal relationship will go depends on what I experience when get to know you.
But when I first experienced this girl?
I was really impressed with her sweetness and overall vibe.
So after I left her I sent her this message.
“You seem really sweet. I’d love to explore a connection with you if you’re open!”
Her reply was as startling as it was dismissive.
“I do not see you as a romantic potential for me, but would love to stay professionally connected.”
Why do you girls do that? In 20 seconds or less of meeting a guy you decide there is no “romantic potential” there at all.
You don’t even know him.
You haven’t taken any time to find out.
But you already “know” there is “no romantic potential.”
Of course I know what it is you REALLY know.
Because nature has wired you to want to be “swept off your feet.”
What you’re looking for up front is a big “attraction whammy!”
If you don’t feel “a spark,” or what you like to call “chemistry,” he has no hope with you for being anything else but “just friends.”
Which is really too bad.
Because by assessing things the way you do?
You set yourselves up for the players.
They know exactly how to manipulate you.
To produce those emotional feelings you seek.
But that’s not the stuff of REAL relationships.
Romantic love comes when you KNOW your partner.
VALUE THEM for who they really are.
You can’t get THAT in a moment’s time, from meeting someone briefly.
That comes by SPENDING TIME getting to know the REAL PERSON to understand how they tick.
A little later on this girl even messaged me to say, “When we met you said it was about business but it was clear you had other intentions. I think you need to be honest. What you did was misleading and deceitful. You should be more open and honest with women.”
I wrote her back to clarify my intentions were exactly what I’d said they were.
I didn’t get together on a ruse to try to “get with” her.
I said, “My invitation to explore a connection came from meeting you in person.”
“I found you were someone I would genuinely enjoy getting to know.”
“I really thought you were sweet.”
“I just shared with you the real emotional response I experienced from meeting you in that meeting.”
It made me really sad she had so quickly written off the possiblity of a connection. But like I have said time and again, that’s just what you girls do.
Because you mistake ATTRACTION for genuine love.
You think it has to be there UP FRONT or you’ll never find a connection.
And probably you never will.
Because as soon as you decide you don’t feel that “spark?”
You friend zone every guy and close off your emotions from him.
Just like guys compartmentalize sex from emotional connection, you do the same thing in reverse.
If that’s what you think love is, it’s going to evade you over and over again.
Attraction is not real love.
It is just nature’s sell job to get babies on the way.
So what’s it gonna be girls? Are you going to keep turning away every genuine guy who’d like to get to know you, or do you think you could finally open yourself up to the real love that is trying to find you?