So you’ve been doing the dating game.
Trying to keep the rules.
Playing it the way your dating “coaches” say you should.
You don’t understand it.
Where is the love of your life?
Surely it’s not meant to be this hard?
As the famous saying goes the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Don’t you think by now?
If what your dating coaches say is true?
Wouldn’t you have found “Mr Right?”
Or “Ms Perfect?”
If there is one thing I’m not big on?
It’s exercises in futility.
I get very frustrated if I find I’m spinning my wheels.
It’s good to go really hard at something you believe will work long enough to give it a fair shot. But if the results continue to be endlessly evasive eventually it’s time to stop and take a second look.
What are you doing wrong?
Who are you getting your advice from?
What is the status of their dating success?
Are they achieving what you want?
This one can get a bit tricky though.
Because they could be successful in a way.
Maybe they are good at “getting laid.”
Or getting guys to “bankroll” their good times.
I had a client in his late 20s who was really jealous of his buddies. Every weekend they went home with a girl and he went home empty handed.
He couldn’t get girls to give him the time of day.
He wasn’t “bad boy” enough for them.
His friends were rude and girls lapped it up.
Finally this guy figured out the game.
Started “pulling girls” himself.
But when he evaluated what his new success was bringing him? He realized he didn’t WANT what he was getting now anyway.
He didn’t want girls who just want sex.
He wanted a real connection.
Something MEANINGFUL.
Where making love was an expression of that.
The “dating advice” wasn’t delivering.
This is why a while back I told you that most dating advice out there is nothing but a scam. It’s not designed to bring you love no matter what all your “love” gurus keep telling you.
The reason is because the whole dating world?
It’s HUGELY defective.
Like everybody you have the cart before the horse.
You’re going about things exactly backwards.
And what way is that?
You’re chasing attraction.
You’re mistaking love for excitement.
If you’re a guy you’re chasing your latest lay.
If you’re a girl you want to get swept off your feet.
I hope you understand that if you go shopping for apples and all you ever come home with is lemons? It really is all your fault and you should stop complaining about it.
You can’t blame LOVE for failing you.
When you keep going for something else?
What are you expecting?
Of course if you’re functioning from ignorance?
You’re bound to make mistakes.
But once you understand what’s up?
The onus is on you to change things.
The problem is you don’t really WANT to face how real love works. You want to cling to your fantasies anyway.
You want excitement!
You want adventure!
Or maybe you just want to find “the one.”
But none of that has anything to do with love.
Love is connection.
Connection with a real person.
Because you truly value them.
Not just because they excite you.
To bring real romantic love into your life you have to change the game you’re playing. You have to start prioritizing getting to know people instead of trying to find “chemistry.”
Just hang out.
Experience each other in real day to day living.
Find out what makes each other tick.
Start to notice those warts they’re hiding.
Real love survives all of that.
Because it focuses on real value.
What do you think? Is it time to opt out of the defective dating world you’ve become so endlessly enamored with?
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