I work with a lot of introverted guys.

It goes without saying we have our own set of challenges when it comes to meeting girls.

One of the most common questions I get asked by you guys is this:

“How do I know if a girl is attracted to me?”

This is a big one for you introverted guys because, well, quite frankly…you’re terrified of girls.

It’s like they are walking around with this secret set of cat claws, just waiting to take a piece out of you, if you go anywhere near them.

I shared a while back 3 things you need to do to meet girls if you’re an introverted guy.

But as some of you noticed, a big problem with my advice there was, eventually you have to talk to them.

In the “pickup” world this is called “opening” them.

As an introverted guy you have a problem with this concept because of your innate fear of those cat claws.

You feel like it would be so much easier if you knew in advance she wasn’t going to cut you down.

If you could just tell she’s attracted to you first, appoaching her would be a breeze.

And when I work with you introverted girls, that’s a big part of what I teach you if you want to meet guys.

Let a guy know you’re interested in him, and he’ll feel a lot more confident approaching you.

I’ll share more how you girls can do all this in a follow up post.

Today though I’m going to assume the girl you’re interested as an introverted guy is not giving you any clear signals.

But you’d still like to know whether she’s attracted to you or not.

There’s a sure fire way to determine this, which I’ll share with you in a moment.

First though you need to understand a couple things.

The first thing is the concept of Attraction State, which I shared in my last blog post.

If you haven’t read that yet I recommend you do so before continuing.

You are always in one of three attraction states regarding every girl you meet.

You are either really attracted to her (the “Whoa!” state), you are open to becoming attracted to her (the “Hmmm” state), or you just aren’t attracted to her at all (the “Nope!” state).

The same is true about every girl who meets you.

Some girls will be really into you. Others will be open to exploring a connection.

Other girls just won’t have any interest.

There is nothing good or bad about this.

It just is.

You no more need to feel bad you’re some girl’s “Nope!” than she should feel bad that she’s yours.

Sure it’s disappointing if your “Whoa!” or “Hmmm” reaction isn’t matched by the girl you’re experiencing it for.

But this is completely normal.

You just have to keep going until you find your matches, because they are out there!

Understanding how attraction state works leads to the second thing you need to understand.

Your goal in approaching a girl is NOT to make her experience attraction for you.

As you just saw, attraction is an involuntary response.

You CAN’T make any girl be attracted to you.

She either will or will not experience attraction for you.

Which means if you approach a girl and she’s not attracted to you, you’re not being rejected. What you’ve been interpreting as cat claws really aren’t.

To reject you, she would need to be deciding how she feels.

But she can’t do that.

All she is doing when she doesn’t reciprocate your interest is revealing what her natural attraction response for you is.

And that’s your TRUE goal when approaching a girl.

To find out whether you’re a “Whoa!”, a “Hmmm”, or a “Nope!” for her.

That’s the ONLY reason to approach a girl. To find this out.

So as you can see, the best way to know if a girl is attracted to you is just to approach her and see.

And when you realize the only goal in approaching girl is to find out what her attraction state is for you, you also realize you can never experience failure approaching her.

There really is no reason to get emotionally invested in a girl until she makes it clear she’s invested in you.

Once you know that, of course you can proceed to explore a connection with her.

But until you know that, you should remain outcome independent.

After all, how can you have a vested interest when your only goal is to find out how she feels?

So from this day forward I want you to quit trying to get girls to like you.

Instead, get curious about them.

What I do is say to myself, “Hmmm. She’s attractive. I wondering if she would find me attractive too.”

Then I approach her and find out.

That’s what you should do too!

If you see a girl you find attractive, whether a “Whoa!” or a “Hmmm”, approach her and open a conversation to see if she will share your interest or not.

If not then great! Now you know!

If she does share your interest, then you can move it to the next level.

I’ll talk in future blog posts about how to do that too!

What do you think? Does that take some of the pressure off finding out if a girl is attracted to you?