People often ask the question, “When is the right time to leave your relationship?”
What you mean of course when you ask this question is that you are struggling.
Your partner is not connecting with you.
Or they hurt you.
Or they are abusive.
Or a hundred other reasons that lead you to believe it may be time to move on.
And I definitely don’t deny that sometimes things can reach the point where you need to leave.
If there is physical abuse going on you should leave yesterday.
Putting up with that is life threatening and anyone who is capable of physically abusing you, needs help you cannot give them.
Emotional abuse runs a close second to that.
But what I want to address today is something much different than these obvious reasons to move on.
The fact is you may be considering leaving your relationship because of your own emotional insecurity.
But you might not recognize it as that.
It might just look like something you should do.
Your fears and insecurities have a tendency to mask themselves, as legitimate reasons for acting according to their wishes.
You may be afraid your partner will leave you eventually.
Or that they don’t love you, because they notice other girls (or guys).
You could be with someone polyamorous and your insecurities about your own inadequacies are reaching a peak.
You may just be experiencing relationship ups and downs, and feel like eventually it’s going to end anyway, so you might as well get out now.
Let me let you in on a little secret. Your partner WILL hurt you. You WILL feel unloved.
His or her feelings for you WILL ebb and flow.
There is nothing abnormal about any of this.
Romantic love is a fragile thing and you need to nurture and protected it.
You need to fan it, when it has been reduced to just embers.
It needs to be given your focus ongoing.
Want to make sure you are never hurt?
Never experience jealousy?
If you want to avoid these or a myriad of other emotional experiences your insecurities make you afraid of, leave your relationship now.
And never get into a relationship again.
Because this is how love is.
It is wonderful and meaningful and rich and fulfilling!
But it is all of these other things as well.
As the old saying goes, “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
But you fear the loss.
So you choose not to love at all.
Or to run from love when you have it.
I can’t make the choice for you to choose to love instead.
Only you can do that.
But I do believe love is worth every pain and challenge you will ever experience for it.
It is the only thing really worthwhile in this world.
Need some help sorting through how you’re feeling right now?
Don’t wait another day – contact me for your FREE initial consultation and we’ll talk.
What do you think? Is love worth all the pain and effort?
Like what you’re reading? Sign up!