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Stop Giving Girls Your Attention

It’s hard watching you guys on Facebook.

You have these female friends.

You slather all over them.

Like they are some kind of goddess.

I guess you’re believing all the press they keep telling themselves.

But you just look pathetic and dampen your chances with them. Because girls love attention and if you give it to them they will treat you appropriately.

Like the little puppy dog you are!

Stop it guys.

Just stop it!

A couple times in the past year.

Some female Facebook friends of mine changed their profile pictures.

The result was as predictible as it was sad and amusing.

Immediately every friend they know started telling them how gorgeous they are.

“Beautiful!”

“Gorgeous”

“So nice!”

“Killing it girl!”

“Wow stunning!”

Anything wrong with people complimenting you on your good looks?

Of course not!

And I expect all your GIRLFRIENDS to do so.

But most of you share a basic insecurity about whether you are truly attractive and WORTHY of attention.

And lets not forget.

THIS is the REAL purpose of Facebook anyway.

Mark Zuck and his buddies created Facebook so they could check out all you girls.

No I’m not making this up.

They KNEW if they provided you with this kind of platform?

You would put yourselves on DISPLAY.

I EXPECT a bunch of girls to join in on the attention parade.

After all that’s what you girls do.

But when you guys do this too, you’re really impacting yourselves in a negative direction. You become a little puppy dog begging for her attention in return.

Come on admit it.

When you give her that compliment?

You start watching your notifications hoping she’ll LIKE what you said.

Because then you know you got HER attention TOO.

It makes you feel like she likes you and you’ve got some HOPE with her.

It’s really quite pathetic.

And that is what this whole social media game is about anyway right?

You’re looking to the EXTERNAL world to make you feel good about YOURSELF.

Because you don’t feel good about yourself on the INSIDE.

Whether or not a girl gives you attention determines whether or not you have a good day today too.

Isn’t that true?

Okay then what SHOULD you do when you see one of these attention fests forming on Facebook?

Of course you can just ignore it all.

Nothing saying you need to enter the fray.

But if you join in do so in a way that shows you find the whole thing amusing.

Because it is.

The first time I saw it happening I said, “Quite the admiration society you have going on here. I feel like I should say something negative just to offset it!”

For the most recent such event I just said,

“At least now we know why you girls love Facebook so much! (wink)”

My friend asked, “And why is that?”

I replied, “Haha. Look at that FULL ON attention stream! :)”

Of course my friend felt the need immediately to justify herself.

She only changes her picture because of the season change.

She’s really on Facebook to keep in touch with family.

And for the free marketing it provides.

And I believe her.

I actually don’t think she consciously changed her picture for the attention she got. But she got it just the same!

That doesn’t change the phenoemon.

As demonstrated by the attention stream it gave her.

Listen girls I get it.

You LOVE attention and FISH for complements from your friends most of the time.

It helps you feel okay about yourselves.

Why do you think the Like button was created?

That thing is a dopamine hit on steroids!

If you put up a Facebook comment and nobody likes it?

It takes a shot at your self esteem.

Doesn’t anybody love you?

But what you GUYS have to understand is running around telling girls how gorgeous and beautiful they are takes a shot at your self esteem too.

Something inside you makes you feel good that you complimented her.

Especially when she “likes” what you said in return.

It gives you a tiny little dopamine hit.

That makes you feel good about yourself for a minute.

But you have to understand.

She isn’t “liking” you because she LIKES you.

You’re never going to get with her being a little puppy dog worshipping at her feet.

She will just throw you bones.

Keep you in the friend zone.

Because she likes the attention you give her.

But she isn’t ATTRACTED to you when you give her that.

In fact you’re GUARANTEEING she never will be.

Because you are showing you’re NOT a confident guy.

So stop it!

You will always feel sad if you keep acting so sad. I’m not a big one on the “man up” phrase but it really applies in this case.

Just stop giving girls your attention!

If you stop you know what will happen?

They’ll start giving you THEIR attention because they can tell you don’t NEED it.

I even received a real complement on this recent Facebook thread where I did this.

One of my friend’s female Facebook friends asked, “Who is that fool?”

Mission accomplished!

I’m not the little puppy dog worshipping at her feet.

I was a fool who didn’t need her approval.

So the next time you see the attention fest forming…think twice.

Do you really want to join the herd?

What do you think? Can you accomplish more by not caring what anybody thinks instead?

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