“So what does a polyamorous guy do on a Friday night?”
That’s a question I was asked by a girl I was seeing.
We were getting to know each other.
She didn’t quite know what to think.
About this “polyamory thing.”
There are a lot of questions I receive from you girls when I tell you I don’t do monogamy anymore. This is so far outside your conceptions of love, your cerebral wires just seem to fry.
The answer at that time?
I was out to a movie with a friend.
She was another girl I was seeing too.
We were just beginning to get to know each other then.
Yes that’s right.
Two girls at one time.
I even saw them both that night.
The following day I saw a third girl too.
Everyone of these girls are still in my life.
That doesn’t mean all three of them are romantic partners with me now but that is definitely not because of me. I could easily be enjoying deeper connection, if that’s what they wanted too.
Another interesting question I receive?
“What do you do about Valentine’s day?”
When a girl asked me that once.
My reply was tongue in cheek.
I said, “Maybe I should run a lottery!”
She replied, “Gee. How many options do you have?”
Of course I was kidding at the time.
When you are polyamorous though, you do look at a lot of these cultural habits in a very different way. Who decided you have to acknowledge your love uniquely on one particular day of the year?
The same goes for Christmas.
And any other traditions you can think of.
Nothing wrong with those.
If they are your thing.
The danger is you relegate love to just there.
Shouldn’t you be expressing your love all the time?
In small and special ways?
Again when you are polyamorous and your focus is love, you want to make every time you’re together with a partner special. It’s that “take them for granted” thing that always kills love.
Another girl asked me, “Who do I wake up with in the morning?”
As if you have to pick which partner that is.
The simple answer of course?
Whoever slept over.
Or the person whose place you slept at instead.
And of course the beauty of romantic friendships.
You wake up by yourself often too.
You can do this however you like.
When you are polyamorous there are no expectations about who you will be together with and when. You just enjoy your connections and work your schedules out, just like you do with any of your friends.
I hope you’re starting to see a pattern.
Romantic friendships are really NO BIG DEAL.
The ONLY big deal is the hangup you have.
You think there is a relationship SCRIPT you’re just SUPPOSED to follow.
As a polyamorous guy.
I just do what I do.
And enjoy the girls in my life along the way.
They enjoy me too.
Otherwise they wouldn’t be with me.
And that’s another beautiful thing about living this way.
The only strings attached are love.
So what do you think? Could you see giving polyamory a go, to find out if it might just be the love life you’re looking for after all?