“Best Valentines Day ever!” she said.
And what guy wouldn’t like to hear that?
Especially after what I told you last time right?
About my epic Valentine’s Day failure?
Well I guess truth be told, I’ve had a few of those now. First with my long term partner, and then when I wouldn’t celebrate it with my ONLY romantic partner.
But this girl I’m talking about now?
She was my first romantic friendship EVER.
But this was long before I’d even coined that term.
She was just someone I loved, with whom I regularly got together.
Our relationship formed through a class we took at the time, that had us in each other’s veritable “pockets” 24/7. Being in such close proximity after just leaving my long term relationship like I had, our connection was all but inevitable.
It really was a wonderful love we shared.
Unfortunately though, I was still a polyamory “gringo.”
At that time I was still too influenced by the pickup artists.
I thought I had to worry about her getting “girlfiend feelings.”
Thankfully though, with the Valentine’s Day I am taking about? I had yet to make this fatal error. She and I met up to celebrate the day, and we really did have a wonderful, intimate time together.
So much so that she said what she did.
“Best Valentine’s Day ever!”
It will always remain in my memory as that.
I’m so glad we enjoyed that time of affection!
But even though I didn’t have a silly philosophy saying I shouldn’t get together at all? Very shortly after, I let those PUAs’ silly philosophy poison the pot anyway, which unfortunately cost me that relationship.
So what did I start to do wrong?
I started artificially creating “distance” with her.
Even though I was still head over heals for this girl?
I quit holding her hand, or taking her arm as we walked together.
When she told me, “I love you” I didn’t respond, but not because I didn’t also love her. I just thought if I over did expressing my affections, she would start lobbying for monogamy.
Of course now I know I was being a fool!
It’s not MY job to police my partner’s feelings.
Now once I’ve made it clear my love is a polyamorous love?
I just trust each partner to feel how ever she feels about me..
What do you think? Would you agree I was a total idiot, starting to act distant so my partner wouldn’t get the wrong impression, and can you see how important it is to just trust the one you love, to love you however they love you?
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