I met up with a girl a couple years ago.
She is in a long distance relationship.
I was fascinated to hear about it.
When she told me though?
It seemed quite ridiculous.
Of course what really complicates things, is when you’re long distance and monogamous. If you are polyamorous, it doesn’t represent the same problems.
But this girl?
Hard core monogamy all the way.
What is she completely convinced of?
Her partner is totally faithful to her!
Now you are probably thinking the same thing I was. “Yeah right. And if you believe that, I have some swamp land in Florida to sell you.”
As you probably have noticed?
Guys are sexual beings.
Not just sexual.
Of course, this girl isn’t naive about that, but she figures she has the problem tackled. What she does is takes nude pictures of herself, so her guy can use those to masturbate.
Sounded good to me.
She is a very cute girl actually.
Like I would?
I’m sure her partner happily takes her up on the offer.
But have that as his ONLY option?
For months and months at a time?
Would you like to see that swamp land now?
The reason she seems to think this will work, is because she and her partner share the same love languages. Quality time and words of affirmation, mean Skyping is enough to nurture their romantic connection.
You’ve been here for a while right?
Do you see the mistake she’s making?
She is focused on emotional connection.
Like a typical girl?
She doesn’t think sexual fulfillment is necessary.
Let’s all rehearse it here one more time: “Romantic love is the desire for sexual fulfillment AND emotional connection.” Leave out either and your partner will very likely roam.
And he should.
Because you’ve lost your true connection.
For this reason?
I don’t recommend long distance particularly.
But if you insist?
Definitely don’t insist on monogamy.
Do it as a romantic friendship.
What do you think? Are you still naïve enough to believe you can maintain a monogamous romantic connection while doing so at a distance, or can you understand now why this girl is being completely unrealistic?
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