So up until now in our evaluation of Romantic Friendships?
We’ve focused on various relationship problems.
One thing we haven’t done though?
Looked at how things compare in the long run.
Sure Romantic Friendships don’t encounter a lot of the day to day challenges other relationship styles experience. But how do they size up over years instead of months?
A recent Psychology Today article?
It addresses exactly such challenges.
What sort of things are we talking about here?
It focuses on 5 major areas.
Ones that every long term couple has to face.
The first thing such relationships face is nothing too surpising. Whenever you move in with someone, it is the first year that ends up rough.
Why?
Because suddenly you’re not single anymore.
You’ve been enjoying your independent life to this point.
Now you need to figure out how to live with somebody else.
That’s a lot harder than you think!
Romantic Friendships as you know by now, NEVER face this long term problem. Since you don’t blend your lives together, you won’t experience this challenge at all.
Problem Number 2?
The author invokes “seven-year itch” terminology.
What is that?
Under all the verbiage?
It is about when attraction fades.
As you know, the reason attraction fades is because you start to take each other for granted. Yet another factor Romantic Friendships nips completely in the bud.
Since you are never monogamous?
You can never assume upon your partner.
Knowing your partner can be with anyone?
That actually keeps your attraction alive.
Number 3 is when kids leave home, and you have to navigate the “empty nest” condition. For many years your kids were distracting, and cushioned you from the fact you’ve grown apart.
Nope.
Once again not with Romantic Friendships!
If you want to raise kids?
You have a relationship to do so.
You keep your romantic life separate from that.
I can’t say Number 4 will have zero impact on your Romantic Friendships. Whenever you experience traumatic experiences, that will impact any relationship you have.
But here too, since you don’t live together?
The impact is going to be lessened.
And since your relationship is a friendship?
You can support each other, without it consuming anyone’s life.
What about growing old, as Number 5 refers to as the final challenger? Doesn’t the fact you don’t live together leave you alone, and unhappy as age comes on?
Apparently the opposite is true.
When long term couples age, they tend to become restless.
They start to feel they have missed out.
It’s time to make up for that now.
With Romantic Friendships you never even approach the idea of such limitations. You’re free to have whatever relationships you desire all the way along.
To support each other as you age?
You don’t have to live together.
The truth is, if you’re monogamous?
Illness or death will leave one of you alone eventually.
Since Romantic Friendships is friendship based?
You always have people in your life to love and care for you.
So what do you think? Is there any way at all that Romantic Friendships isn’t better than being monogamous, or are you beginning to see why this way of approaching your love life makes the most sense?
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