In Part 1 you saw how Romantic Friendships fair with common relationship PROBLEMS.
In Part 2 you looked at them from the standpoint of challenges regarding SEX.
Today I want to take another stab at all this from the standpoint of relationship BREAKUPS.
There was yet another Psychology Today piece I read relating to this.
It provides a look at the reasons relationships end.
So what are the reasons people cite as the basis for discontinuing their relationships?
What aspect of their romantic connection becomes just too difficult to bear?
And once again in light of all this how do Romantic Friendships size up?
(1) Having Affairs
The first thing cited is having affairs.
Being unfaithful to you lover.
As I’ve said before?
If you don’t want him to cheat?
Don’t REQUIRE monogamy in the first place!
Needless to say Romantic Friendships don’t face this particular “problem.”
(2) Boredom And Battle Fatigue
These both stem from the effects of living together and the frictions that brings.
When you’re with someone day in and day out?
You get to know their every move and behavior pattern.
The aspect of discovery ceases to feed your connection.
And after a while all those “cute things” start to wear on you as well.
You want to escape but you’re stuck in your self made prison of familiarity.
Since living apart is fundamental to Romantic Friendships?
You have lots of chances to experience your partner anew.
You don’t have to put up with their day to day oddities at all.
It is true that Romantic Friendships can be impacted by these.
Financial loss and career change or job demands?
Health related issues and sexual dysfunction?
Family pressures or crises of faith?
If your partner experiences any of these they are bound to affect you too.
But except for sexual dysfunction the impact from all of these is minimal since your daily lives are not embedded.
Instead you can be a much more stable support because your partner can’t project their troubles onto you.
(4) Dreams and Goals
These are only a problem when people combine their futures.
Ever had any of your friendships affected when deciding to change your plans?
Changing such things affect primarily you.
Your friendships remain the same.
The one exception would be if you moved away.
Otherwise the impact again is perfectly minimal.
Not only do Romantic Friendships avoid all of the above?
The need for aloneness is built in also.
No matter how much you love each other?
Your need for autonomy is ever present as well.
(6) Your Partner’s Immaturity
When you make someone your everything?
Their maturity also becomes important.
You can also find yourself wanting more than they have to offer.
Because this person has to be “it.”
And what if you decide you actually made a big mistake?
This person definitely is not “the one” you thought they were for you.
Changing things now is HUGELY difficult but necessary to survive!
Romantic Friendships face NONE of this because you aren’t with someone to make them your “everything.”
Instead you just love your partners for who they are without needing them to be anything else.
Your connection is based on what you value in them.
You’re not focused on what they are lacking.
As long as you enjoy what you experience together?
Your relationship never has to end.
If you wish for things your partner doesn’t have?
Go start a relationship with someone else that has them!
So even on the “causes of breakup” front?
I hope once again you can see it.
No matter how you look at things?
Romantic Friendships are a total win!
So what do you think? Did I miss something here or when it comes to the things that usually cause breakups is this indeed a much better way to configure your love life?
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