To watch most of you guys, you’d think your life depends on sex.
Everything you do is sexually driven.
You can’t walk down the street without checking out each girl.
In your quiet moments sex is all you think about.
No this isn’t any great surprise to me because I’m a guy so I am also subject to this phenomenon. And contrary to what many of you girls think, this is something a lot of us guys actually DO find challenging.
It’s not like we want to be obsessed over you.
But nature has decided against us.
This fact is why I encourage you to not shame your guy.
It’s not like he has chosen this path for himself.
But even though guys are naturally sexually addicted.
It’s not as if you girls aren’t subject to a similar phenomenon.
Nature has designed us both this way and under the hood even you girls want to be sex objects. It is only your culturally programmed belief that “good girls” don’t go for what they actually desire, that makes you so sexually inhibited.
But haven’t you guys noticed by now?
Sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
Don’t you find you just want to “get off” again?
Very soon after you supposedly found “satisfaction?”
There is a very good reason you experience this theme.
Because you are a dopamine chaser.
You are addicted to going after that feeling.
That clever little chemical in your brain can’t distinguish helpful desires from desires that just exist for their own sake and are actually pointless.
Am I saying sex is pointless?
It is if you don’t want to make babies.
What else did you think sex is actually FOR?
Think about it for a minute.
What is the point of just getting off again and again?
Pleasure you say!
And I would agree with you.
If getting that pleasure was actually fulfilling.
What you find again and again though, is you just keep pushing on to your next sexual conquest. You don’t find fulfillment with any particular girl because you’re not there to share anything meaningful.
And tragically as you’ve seen from this whole #metoo thing?
You leave each girl feeling less than human.
Often she has sex with you hoping it’s love.
But all you’re wanting is to love her and leave her.
Oh I know.
You don’t look at it that way.
You just keep finding after sex she’s just not that interesting.
Can’t you see that the pattern you’re living is no different than the pattern of a heroin addict? Once you get your fix you are temporarily satisfied, until once again you feel that monkey on your back.
Now obviously dopamine is a very good thing.
That is when it’s served up in an appropriate manner.
If you didn’t have dopamine doing what it does?
You probably wouldn’t ever get out of bed or go to work or spend quality time with others.
What you need to see though?
Dopmine is still a drug.
And like any drug when used wrongly it’s just going to hurt you.
While you will always find girls to be sex objects to you, you can also come to see them as people.
The purpose of sex?
It’s NOT to “get off.”
It’s to find meaningful connection with your lover.
How did I learn all this?
I overcame a long term porn addiction.
I changed my dopamine chasing ways!
When I learned to tone down my dopamine habit, you’ll never guess what I found.
Suddenly I was able to appreciate girls without obsessing over them all the time. I could interact with them and see they were just like me, with aspirations and hopes for their future.
I’m not afraid of the effect they have on me anymore.
Because now I am in control of what I’m feeling.
Does this mean I don’t feel that attraction anymore?
Not at all.
It means that now I can actually ENJOY it.
Because I’m no longer being led about by those feelings?
I can finally find true sexual fulfillment.
Does what I’m saying sound crazy or impossible to you?
Hit me up and let’s talk about it.
What do you think guys? Could it actually be possible you could enjoy your sexuality without feeling controlled by it all the time?
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