In Part 1 a distinction I made?
It was between conscious and unconscious serial monogamists.
An advantage you have if you are the conscious kind?
You’ve got both eyes open going in.
Recently a girl I discussed this with told me, “I believe in having one sexual partner when you’re in a committed relationship. However what has not been something I have embraced is the theory of ‘forever.’ What does ‘forever’ have to do with happiness?”
Good for her!
This is a HUGE step forward.
But a central question still remains.
Are you only after TEMPORARY happiness then?
I asked her, “When you enter your ‘committed relationship’ are you saying ‘I’m expecting this to end?’ Aren’t you still going in with the intention that you’re going to make good on this thing?”
If you confirm this is the case?
Then you are STILL subject to monogamy’s statistics.
Even if you’re realistic that “forever” may not happen?
Aren’t you still hoping that it will?
When you speak of happiness here what you’re really talking about is your ongoing romantic connection. So like I always tell you what is relevant is what will cause that to flourish for you.
And once you look at things this way?
What becomes relevant is NOT commitment.
Not having “a single sexual partner.”
Not even SERIAL monogamy.
The only thing romantic love consists of is the desire to experience sexual fulfillment and emotional connection that is mutually shared and enjoyed between your partner and you.
As long as you value him?
And he values you?
That’s all you need to find romantic happiness.
You don’t need commitment OR monogamy.
They don’t add a thing.
The problem with bringing monogamy into the picture is you are impeding your love with a set of unnecessary conditions. You’re making jealousy and possessiveness more important than your actual connection is.
Only when you love with an open hand?
Love without expectations?
That’s when your happiness will be fulfilled.
Because it is based on your connection and nothing else.
What do you think? Does it benefit your love in any way to insist on even serial monogamy or are you better to just let this last great modern hold out go as well?
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