When I speak to you girls about Romantic Friendships it’s always the same.
You can’t imagine how you could have more than one lover.
Then I ask you how many friends you have.
You think about it and admit you have emotional connections with lots of people.
You think you can have lots of emotional connections with friends.
But only one connection you consider romantic.
Then I ask, “What’s different about romantic connection that makes you think you can’t have lots of those kinds of connections too?”
Most of you are a bit dumbfounded at this point.
You feel essentially polyamorous in your emotional connections.
You can’t quite tell me why you feel that “sex” is so different.
Then I talk with you guys.
You too can’t quite imagine having more than one lover it seems.
Then I ask you how many girls you’ve had sex with.
For most of you it’s a number much higher than one.
You can sleep with more than one girl and feel pretty comfortable about that.
You think you can have lots of sexual connections, but only one connection you consider romantic.
So I ask you too,
“What’s different about romantic connection that makes you think you can’t have lots of those kinds of connections too?”
Most of you are dumbfounded as well.
You feel essentially polyamorous in your sexual connections.
You can’t quite tell me why you feel that “emotion” is so different.
Of course this is just the classic great divide in the battle of the sexes.
You girls major in emotional connection and you guys major in sex.
Romantic love includes both.
As a guy or a girl, you freely share yourself in your preferred way of relating. But not when you ADD the way of relating you don’t as naturally tend toward.”
When you add that element you cross the line into the realm of “romantic love.”
And you feel romantic love is sacred.
But this is just a sell job on the part of your DNA.
Nature has wired you this way to get babies born.
To get you to “forsake all others” for just a while.
Until those little critters are not so dependent.
Then you’ll break up and start the cycle all over again.
Nature’s plan has NOTHING to do with your REAL love life.
If you follow it’s path you will find out just how sacred “romantic love” really is.
REAL romantic love isn’t primarily about emotional connection or sex at all.
It is about VALUE.
It is valuing your partner for the person he or she really is.
Desiring to share yourself with them because of this.
When you value someone this way, you want to share yourself COMPLETELY.
The desire for emotional connection AND sexual fulfillment is the appropriate way to do this.
Valuing someone like this is something you can experience with anyone.
Everyone is a person of value.
Being open to experiencing romantic connection gives life its purpose.
Your DNA has a specific plan.
Despite all appearances it is not long term monogamy.
Serial monogamy is the most efficient way for nature to accomplish its goals and variate the gene pool. Your long term relationship well being is not on the agenda.
REAL romantic love IS sacred.
So sacred it deserves being guarded from all the ravages it has been subjected to.
It’s so sacred that it isn’t something to keep to yourself.
It is something to share with whoever you find this kind of connection with.
As I’ve said many times love is not that hard.
It just takes opening yourself up to it.
You can find it tonight.
How about you? Are you ready to get smarter than your DNA, and open yourself to sharing the sacredness of love with anyone you find it with?
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