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Romantic Love Is Both Partial And Impartial

I read an excellent article today.

It’s called The Romantic Paradox of Healthy Detachment and Unconditional Love.

Just like I frequently emphasize here?

It says love isn’t about trying to GET.

As the author very aptly points out it is when you love conditionally you get into trouble. Whenever you try to “have and to hold” love always slips through your grasp.

In many ways as this article shows?

Love aligns with the Buddhist concept of detachment.

While you can indeed “hold” your love?

You must do so with an open hand.

In this sense the author is correct that true romantic love is impartial. It doesn’t love just one person and it doesn’t seek to keep any person to itself.

But despite this in another important sense?

Love actually still is VERY partial.

To understand this?

You need to recognize the object of romantic love.

As I told you from the very beginning love is always about valuing your partner. You’re not just looking for anyone. The object of your affection is this particular him or her.

In this sense love is completely partial.

It is this person you are in love with.

Romantic love encapsulates a key Western concept.

The value of the individual.

While I’ve told you that my purpose is romantic love you shouldn’t misunderstand this. If I was after romantic love impartially it wouldn’t matter to me who I love.

But as I’ve always said about Romantic Friendships?

They aren’t about collecting partners.

They are never polyamory for polyamory’s sake.

You’re simply open to loving who you do.

Real love is when you encounter this individual and the more you come to know who they are the more you come to love them.

When you do what is your natural response?

You want to GIVE yourself to them.

The more your emotional connection grows?

The more you want to share yourself in every way possible.

How about you? Can you see that when you fall in love you are indeed being very partial but even so the only way you can “keep” your love is if you constantly let it go?

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