If you’re like most people romantic love is a complete mystery.
It’s something that comes upon you suddenly, overwhelms you completely, and sweeps you inevitably away in its wake.
It’s not something you choose or something you can do anything about.
It is just something that you recognize when you experience it, and there’s really nothing else quite like it.
Definitely love can be that way. Your brain becomes clogged with this person so you can hardly think about anything else. You can’t wait to see them again. You want to be with them and talk into the late hours of the night. You want to make love with them.
There’s really nothing you can do to control love or shape it’s place in your life.
You just have to respond when it happens to you.
And in the same way that you have no control when love comes, you also have no control over whether love stays.
Love can abandon you as quickly as it comes, leaving you devastated and disillusioned.
Leave you wondering how someone who filled your heart with ecstasy and delight could now make you weep in despair.
But is this really how love has to be?
Are you really powerless to change this pattern of how love plays out in your life?
Let’s think about this for a minute…
The big three areas that impact your life the most are your health, your wealth and your relationships.
We’ve been saying that there’s nothing you can do about your relationships. Love is a force that simply impacts you and you are at its whim. What would happen if you took this approach in the other two key areas of your life?
Suppose you assumed that the state of your physical health just happens to you and there is nothing you can do about it.
It doesn’t matter what you eat or what you do physically, you’ll just end up with the health you end up with.
It will be great when it’s great and terrible when it isn’t.
If that was how you thought about your physical health, wouldn’t this sort of become a self fulfilling prophecy?
Because with all the things you know now about how health works, if you take that approach and just let it happen, you will naturally develop all the worst possible habits you could, regarding your physical health.
You will eat whatever you want whenever you want and inevitably become addicted to over eating things with sugar, fat, and high carbohydrates.
You will drink pop and coffee and lots of harmful stimulants.
You definitely won’t exercise because anyone can tell you until you’re into a regular workout routine, exercise is anything but pleasant.
And unless you maintain it consistently, you’ll be starting all over again.
If you approach your physical health the way you approach your love life, you’ll see just as many failures with your health as you do now with your relationships.
What about your wealth and pursuit of financial security?
Here again if you approach your life as if wealth just happens and you have no control over it, you know what you can expect.
Applying for a job?
Try going to the job interview unprepared because good jobs just happen to you and you can’t do anything about it.
If you actually manage to land a good job be sure to live paycheque to paycheque and not really save anything for the future.
Since wealth just happens to you when its going to, you might as well enjoy what you have now and hope wealth happens to shine on you later again.
I think you’re starting to get the point right?
Smart people don’t approach their health or wealth as if it’s just going to happen with no effort and no intelligence applied to the issue at hand. They study the laws of health and wealth.
They learn that they cannot eat just anything they want but must act in ways consistent with the laws of metabolism and what makes for a healthy organism.
Health is not a mystery and it doesn’t just happen.
Smart people make it happen.
The same goes for wealth.
Smart people study success and what has helped people succeed and increase their wealth over time.
They save a portion of what they earn always.
And then they invest that.
They take risks yes, but only calculated risks.
Wealth is not a mystery and it doesn’t just happen.
Smart people make it happen.
I used to see love the same way you do. I thought it just happens to you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
When I was young I was a hopeless romantic.
In my teens I was writing love songs and dating the girls in my social circle and hoping for endless love.
When I met the girl I would marry our experience was very much like what I described at the beginning of this blog post.
We fell in love in a weekend, were engaged in eight weeks, and married six months after that!
My wife knew she had found “the one” and I believed so too.
I was in love and engrossed in the feelings I had for her.
And then it happened. My feelings for her were suddenly gone. They just disappeared overnight!
I spent my entire married life wondering what to do.
Because love just happens to you right?
And when it goes its gone.
There’s nothing you can do about it.
But I was married. I was committed to this girl.
Nobody gave me answers.
For many, many years my wife lived in an emotional desert with a man who could not connect with her. And all the conventional wisdom on love told her this was all she could expect. Because love is a mystery.
But I found out it’s not.
It took my wife threatening to leave me to wake me up from my slumber.
But wake up I did.
And I found my feelings for her again.
No love didn’t just happen to me again.
This time I happened.
I used my mind to study and learn and discover that just like there are laws of health and wealth, there are laws for your love life too.
Concrete things you can do that will bring love into your life, and keep it growing and flourishing once it’s there.
Romantic love is not a mystery and it doesn’t just happen.
Smart people make it happen.
This is what I teach both on this blog, and in my consulting services.
I can help you identify exactly what you’re doing wrong so you can learn what you need to do to make love flourish in your life.
We’ll examine your current patterns together, and figure out what’s causing your love life to fail.
I’ll help you configure your love life so you can have the love you desire.
I’ll teach you romantic love for smart people!
Ready to get started? Let’s connect!
What do you think? Is it time you start approaching your love life more intelligently?