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Relationship Lite: The Right Way To Do Relationships

You really are in an amazing time today!

You have so many relationship options!

If you’re just “out for sex” you can find it at will.

You can go full bore monogamous marriage if you to.

Between these two extremes is a myriad of other options.

The real question though is what SHOULD you choose for yourself, and what should be your true motivation? Obviously a relationship should be fulfilling in some way, but what should your criteria for fulfillment be?

As you know if you’ve hung around here much?

I read very broadly about relationships.

I read traditional authors who recommend marriage.

I read about polyamory.

I also tap the pickup artists regularly.

One of my favorite PUAs these days is Troy Francis.

I’ve introduced you to him a couple times.

I first mentioned Troy when I talked about Friends With Benefits. I also shared his more extreme views in my What Nice Guys Can Learn From Bad Boys series.

Troy intrigues me because our views coincide in many ways.

Troy and I both talk about what you could call “Relationship Lite.”

I talk about Romantic Friendships.

Troy talks about Mini-Relationships. (Link no longer available.)

For Troy, a mini-relationship is one that lasts “between a few weeks and a year at most” which can be “affectionate – romantic even – as well as sexual.” One thing Troy also insists, is it is “not ‘committed’ in any regular sense.”

Then what is the purpose for Troy of a Mini-Relationship?

True to his pickup artist status?

It is first and foremost about sex.

That’s the first positive thing he he has to say about it.

But then he seems to get all negative.

He tells you to avoid talking about where the relationship is going. Or talking about anything outside the relationship at all.

He says you shouldn’t get too couple-y either.

“With all that,” you ask, “how can he still call it a relationship?”

Looking a bit deeper though?

Things definitely start to change for him.

Troy says what he is talking about is different from “a one-night stand” or something that “has no emotional context, or is not romantic.” Troy says he’s had mini-relationships “with girls I’ve cared for deeply, even loved.”

He has had “magical dating experiences with these girls.”

He has gone out “for meals” and “ice skating.”

Spent time “visiting museums and fairs, even going abroad together.”

It isn’t about “meaningless sex” at all.

Actually kind of sounds like what YOU would call a relationship doesn’t it?

So what’s the difference that makes his model significant?

Troy says the key is to strike a balance.

You want to do “fun things” without becoming “boyfriend and girlfriend.”

It “comes down to distance, both emotional and physical.”

He says, “There are players who advocate not even allowing girls to sleep over, to prevent the natural, chemical bonding process taking place. I personally don’t think there’s any harm in sharing a bed, but just remember: if you’re seeing her three times a week then she is your girlfriend.”

So is a mini-relationship just for two?

Troy leaves that completely up to your option.

You can have as many mini-relationships as you like.

As long as you maintain his two parameters:

Emotional AND physical distance.

It’s just fine if you only desire one partner but since you have not “promised fidelity” to anyone, you are “within your right to sleep with other girls.” More than one partner can be beneficial too, since it “keeps you from becoming emotionally dependent.”

As you can see?

What Troy advocates and what I advocate are very similar.

Our first difference is I’m not “out for sex” AT ALL.

How I see sexual fulfillment?

It’s the deepest expression of your emotional connection.

What I’m all about is romantic love.

For me a romantic friendship won’t just last a “few weeks” or only last “a year at most” either. There is no reason you and your partner can’t enjoy your romantic friendship for the rest of your lives.

I do agree with Troy though.

Your focus should be solely on your connection.

Keeping outside influences to a minimum?

It’s always better that way.

So what do you think? Is “Relationship Lite” something you can see yourself trying in the future, by following Troy and I in the enjoyment of Romantic Friendships?

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