It is amazing how every now and then?
A glimmer of light shows up.
This one was in a relationship coach newsletter.
I read this person often and appreciate her a lot.
So what was so profound this time, where normally such advice is less enlightened? This coach was talking about how to approach first dates, when you meet up with someone.
As you know?
That’s what made this latest newsletter so encouraging.
What this coach was recommending?
Effectively what I always tell you.
She began by saying your normal approach to dating, sets you up for superficial connections. When you’re focused on what your date thinks of you, you’re guaranteed to do things wrong because of this.
You’ll ignore red flags.
You’re too appeasing.
You stay quiet when you should speak up.
You downplay your less flattering side.
If you end up in a relationship?
You’ve both partnered with a FANTASY.
Instead, what this coach recommends you do, is pretend you’re just meeting a friend. Don’t go in with any expectations. Just be an emotional anthropologist.
Be honest about your relationship desires.
Don’t be negative about your past relationships.
Imagine that you’re “vetting” this person to be your FRIEND.
What a novel concept!
I wonder where you’ve heard before, that the foundation of romantic love IS friendship? And who has told you again and again, that you should drop all your fantasies?
The main difference with my advice?
You don’t have to pretend anything.
You really are seeking a new friend.
With the additional potential for romance!
The only thing you need to do to get things right, is quit chasing everything else but connection. Make your goal to find someone who shares your desire for that.
If you do?
Love will work.
As long as you don’t complicate it.
Stick to romantic love and nothing else.
Take a pass on the other baggage.
What do you say? Are you ready to open your heart to love, by making Romantic Friendships your sole intention?
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