“Now that we’ve got porn, what do we need girls for?”

The question was being posed in all seriousness, in a forum where guys were discussing the emotionality of girls, and what a pain it was to live with them.

Of course, the logical thinker in me was saying to himself “Well, if there weren’t girls you wouldn’t have porn.”

But I understood what they meant.

All they really found girls “useful” for was getting off.

Because most guys are naturally sexually addicted, if they don’t experience a sexual release every two or three days, they become agitated and find it pretty difficult to function.

But porn takes care of this.

And it doesn’t require personal interaction with a real living girl, and all her emotional “neediness and craziness.”

I know you girls probably think this sounds pretty awful…but you do the same thing.

I live in Vancouver in an area known as Yaletown.

The standing joke about Yaletown is it consists of single women with dogs, looking for love.

I have a different theory.

I think you girls have those dogs in your life to take the place of needing a guy. Just like the guys with their porn, the dogs give you emotional affection and gratification, without the requirement to interact with a real living guy with all his “insensitivity and cruelty.”

As I pointed out in How To Solve The Battle Of The Sexes, guys prioritize sex in a relationship, and girls prioritize emotional connection.

The great question is, how to bring these two opposing forces together, so you can both experience what you want.

Or so the theory goes.

But here too I have a different theory.

I presented it in my very first post called What Is Romantic Love?

My theory is that you cannot experience romantic love as long as you’re focused on getting what you want. Because sex is not romantic love. Neither is emotional connection.

It is only when these two aspects of your emotional nature come together in synergistic union, that you can experience real romantic love.

Romantic love is not about getting.

It is about giving and sharing.

It is the desire to experience sexual fulfillment and emotional connection that is mutually shared and enjoyed.

If you’re just out for sex guys, you won’t experience real love.

If you’re only after emotional connection girls, you’ll miss the mark too.

That’s why porn will never cut it for you guys.

Even being promiscuous and having one night stands.

Learning to be good at getting girls to sex will just leave you empty, because in the deepest place of your being, you crave a more meaningful connection than “just sex” can provide.

Which is why after you get off to porn, or leave your latest sexual conquest, you feel so empty.

It gives you a temporary high but then it lets you down.

Continued porn use leads to depression.

This is well documented.

It doesn’t take that much convincing.

Convincing you girls is a bit different story.

Just like the guys and their porn use, you often tell yourself that other kinds of emotional connection are “good enough.”

That they fulfill your heart’s deepest longing.

You convince yourself it is enough to have the unconditional affection that little puppy dog gives you.

Or your friendships bring.

Or your children and family.

But I don’t buy it. If it were really true you don’t need the love of a guy in your life, you would stop having any interest in guys, and would cease getting your heart pulled in that direction again and again.

But just when you tell yourself you’re better off without anyone, some guy shows up who shoots your theory to pieces.

Why is that?

I believe it is because romantic love is your true purpose.

It’s everyone’s purpose.

You can’t escape it.

There is no greater experience you can have in your life, than to love a lover who loves you back.

Everything else pales in comparison.

Only if you’ve never experienced real romantic love, would you deny this is the case.

Yes, it is painful to have loved and lost. And this is why you try to convince yourself you really don’t need it again. But as the saying goes, the only thing more painful is to never have loved at all.

That’s why you need a lover.

It’s why you’ll never be satisfied with any of the things you use to try to substitute for it.

Nothing else will suffice.

Not porn.

Not puppies.

Not random sexual encounters.

Not children or family.

Nothing else but true love will meet this deepest need each one of us has.

You were made for love.

Deep, rich, romantic love.

It is your purpose.

Nothing else can take its place.

So tell me. In your heart of hearts can’t you feel what I’m saying is true?