When you first met this new guy he really turned you on.
Every time you were apart, you couldn’t wait to get with him again.
You became aroused just thinking about him.
Imagining what it would be like to feel his touch once more.
You literally spent hours a day basking in the fantasy of your budding new relationship.
It was heaven.
But now you’ve noticed something’s changed.
It’s starting to worry you.
You’re just not that turned on anymore.
You’ve been together for quite some time.
Now things aren’t as electric as they were at the start.
You’re not really feeling that spark.
Things are becoming more “normal.”
You’re scared. Why aren’t you interested in sex anymore? Is there something wrong with you?
It’s still obviously very important to him.
But you’re just not “ready to go on demand” like you once were.
Are you going to lose him?
What are you doing wrong?
Listen to me carefully…
There is nothing wrong with you at all.
What you’re experiencing is completely normal.
Not wanting sex at this stage of your relationship is actually to be expected.
So am I telling you it’s okay to forget about sex and that your partner should just find your emotional connection enough?
No I’m not saying that.
As you know what I teach here is REAL romantic love.
And that includes BOTH sexual fulfillment and emotional connection that is MUTUALLY shared and enjoyed.
What I am saying though is that the progression you’ve experienced here IS normal.
When new relationship energy (NRE) is firing, it all works the way you first experienced it working.
Nature has designed you to be excited when a new guy first shows you interest, because it wants you to have sex and get some babies on the way.
As I often say, “Romantic Love” is nature’s sell job.
Once that initial bit of sex is accomplished though?
Nature wants you to settle into raising your babies.
It really doesn’t care about your love life anymore.
So you need to be smarter than your DNA.
While not wanting sex anymore is normal, not having sex anymore is not.
Or rather, not making love is not.
You see sex is about reproduction.
About getting babies made.
It’s not about getting you and your partner more and more connected.
Making love helps you bond.
It brings you closer together emotionally.
So what you need to do is realize your love life is something to be more conscious about.
You need to PLAN to make love, even though this doesn’t sound “romantic.” Even though it lacks the spontaneity nature has made you think should be there.
In the good old days Masters and Johnson assumed a girl’s normal arousal cycle was the same as a guy’s.
A guy is like the Ever Ready Bunny.
He’s just “on” all the time sexually.
But as a girl your arousal takes time.
And it is influenced by a lot of things that are more emotional and relational in nature.
The experts are finally coming to realize this.
What you and your partner really need to do is establish a love making PRACTICE.
Plan times to be together and make love.
Set aside a few hours regularly where you will just be together and share intimacy.
There is a lot more I’ll have to say about this in the future.
It may seem pretty overwhelming to you right now.
That’s why I work with couples to help you align your desires.
Don’t leave your love life to chance – reach out to me for your FREE initial consultation.
You CAN still have a rich love life you both enjoy and cherish!
Now that you know not wanting sex is normal, are you ready to start planning to make love?
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