I read an article I really liked.
It dealt with “shiny new object” syndrome.
What is that?
It’s the feeling you get when you first “fall in love.”
I put “fall in love” in quotes of course, because what you’re really feeling is just attraction. Falling in love with someone for real is so much more than that.
Another name for this syndome?
It is New Relationship Energy (NRE).
I talked about this before.
A girl new to polyamory was worried for herself.
Would her new poly guy fall in love AGAIN eventually?
Would he leave HER when he did?
What is great about this latest article is it takes a look at the other side of the question. It talks about the importance of reassuring your existing partners when you meet a new someone.
When that NRE dopamine rush hits?
It is very easy to become overwhelmed by it.
You’re obviously enjoying this new person.
You want to make sure that doesn’t lead to neglect.
What the author says is that people more experienced with polyamory learn to enjoy NRE for what it is, but they also know not take it so seriously either.
If you’ve been there a few times?
You know this is a temporary situation.
You’re not falling in love with the person you’ve met.
You’re falling in love with a FANTASY.
What goes up must come down, and New Relationship Energy is no exception. What you have with your long term partners is much more rich and lasting too.
It’s great to receive compersion.
But you shouldn’t take anything for granted.
While you’re basking in your fresh new love?
Go the extra mile to love your current loves too.
Whether it is extra time spent, or gifts given, or magnified words of affirmation, make sure your current partners are definitely still feeling the feels.
And as this author says?
Don’t make any HUGE decisions.
Until you know who your new love really is?
Don’t change any part of your life for them.
What do you think? Could you love someone new without neglecting your current partners, and could you make sure they know they’re loved the same way you would want them to do for you?
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